


Blue Flower Caresses the Night Sky

by orphan_account



Series: Blue Flower Caresses the Night Sky: The Complete Series [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Biting, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Co-Written, Disabled Character, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Manga Spoilers, Multi, Original Character Death(s), Original Character-centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Rough Sex, Series Spoilers, Slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:27:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6847036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just after Annie Leonhardt is captured by the Survey Corps, three new recruits, after suffering a loss, enter into the Trainee Corps in order to become Scouts themselves. One wishes to make a difference, one wishes to protect the ones they love, and the other wishes to move on. </p><p>In joining the Survey Corps, they gain many new friends and comrades, and each gains what they wish; however, they soon learn that nothing in this world is ever permanent, and they must either learn to protect that which is most important to them, or accept loss as the reality of life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet the Trainees: Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> (Story and characters by Isamu Mamoru)
> 
> Please see the notes on the series this belongs to for more information, as this AN got really long so I moved it.  
> ~Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trainee initiation.

_Back at the training barracks._

Shadis walked up to the next person. “Who the hell are you?!”

The girl teared up a little, but did the salute and answered. “Sir! I am Sakura Shizuru from Trost!”

She quivered a bit but stood up as tall as she could. She was five feet tall and had black shoulder length cut hair and dark-brown eyes. She was half Chinese and half Japanese with an hourglass type figure. She was 16 and weighed 150 pounds. She was also very shy and was not very good with being yelled at or being in trouble, so she did the best she could at staying as composed as possible.

Shadis got closer to her face and yelled some more. “Why are you here, egg roll?!”

A single tear dropped and she shouted her answer back. “So I can become a stronger person physically and mentally to protect the people I love and stay alive!”

Shadis shouted at her yet again, “The last one of your kind that went through here made me wonder how all of you could’ve died off, but now I know! It’s because of scrawny little shits like you that all the zipperheads went extinct!”  
  
At that moment they all heard a loud enough thud that it echoed throughout the courtyard they were in. It was about 10 people down from where Sakura was standing, and the sound was a fist hitting a chest. Shadis turned and looked with a somewhat surprised face at a boy who had started his salute. The girl on the right of the boy was looking at him with a face that, in words, would clearly say, “What the fuck are you doing?!” Shadis started walking towards the boy. Sakura looked over at him with silent tears spilling down her cheeks.

Shadis stood in front of him. “Are you that eager to be fucking yelled at, boy…”

The boy stood there doing the salute and spoke in a calm voice after mustering up the strength to talk and giving a deep breath out.

“I figured it would’ve happened eventually… So why not do it now and get it over with.”

Shadis looked down at him and spoke normally. “What’s your name, you scrawny little shit stain?”

The boy looked up at him with glaring eyes. “William Geary… sir.”

William was five feet eight inches and weighed 135 pounds and was Caucasian. He had blue eyes, broad shoulders, and had dark brown curly hair that would become like an afro if it wasn’t cut down to size. He was 18 years old.

Shadis looked at him with eyes that were filled with equal, if not more, hatred. “Y’know, William, the last maggot that gave me a look like that wasn’t able to have children the next morning… Why are you here…”

William kept a stern look and simply said, “Because she is…” and pointed to Sakura.

“Is that so…”

Shadis then buried his fist into William’s stomach with a good hard punch as William bent over in pain. Sakura flinched, but William gave her a sign not to move, and she listened. William started to stand up with a bit of a struggle, but before he completely stood up, Shadis kneed him in the face and William fell to the ground holding his face as blood dripped out his nose and mouth. As Shadis started to yell at him again both the girl next to him and Sakura’s eyes started going darker than usual.

Shadis leaned down and yelled at William. “Stay down, you weak piece of shit! You may have been able to have gotten back up before, but out there, you don’t get second chances! Once you’re down, you’re dead! Now, ask yourself this; how the fuck are you gonna protect her if you can’t even protect yourself, you fuckin’ pipsqueak!”

Shadis gave him one last kick to the stomach and turned slightly a bit, meaning to keep moving down the line. He stopped, however, noticing the dark-haired girl (or woman, rather) standing next to William in the line and staring down at him. Shadis glared down at her, annoyed that her eyes were cast downward and not forward as they should be.

"You," he spat, causing her to turn her gaze back up.

She glared into his face, almost challenging him to try something, and he could almost sense the tension building in her muscles. He met that gaze, boring into it, testing to see if it would falter even once. He knew it wouldn't, somehow, as he vaguely remembered seeing this woman somewhere before with the same defiant expression on her face. After several long seconds of staring her down, he finally turned away to begin walking down the line.

"Clean him up," he ordered, not once looking back.

"Yes, sir," she replied curtly, reaching down to pick William up off the ground by his upper arm.

Toward the end of that line, a tall dark-haired boy who was about six foot one inches tall and weighed about 160 pounds stood in his spot in line, smirking. He then let out a small chuckle, which grew into an all-out laugh, echoing in the open space of the training field. Shadis stopped in his tracks as the sound reached him, his jaw and brow setting into an expression of pure rage.

"YOU!" he roared, the recruits near him flinching slightly at the loud voice.

He strode toward the boy and stopped just in front of him, leaning directly into his smirking face.

"Who the hell are you..." he growled, leaning forward more. "And what the _fuck_ is so damn funny?!"

The boy blinked once, surprised, then smiled brightly, thumping his fist into his chest.

"Thomas Finch from Trost!" he announced brightly, a peculiar English accent coating his voice. "But you can call me 'Tom,' sir!"

"Well I can see why you were laughing now, Finch," Shadis replied, "because that fucking accent of yours is goddamn ridiculous!"

Undeterred, Tom continued to smile directly into Shadis's glaring face.

"Had it all my life, sir!" he replied.

"Boy..." Shadis growled, his glare somehow hardening even more than before. "Do you know what happens to little fucks like you who get fucking smart with me?"

Tom's eyes widened slightly, and he blinked slowly, seeming to process the words. Down the line, the girl next to William held him up using her shoulders under his arm, both of them staring down the line at the commotion near Tom. After a few moments, Tom's stare hardened, his eyes turning serious as he stared up into Shadis's gaze.

"Perfectly, sir," he stated.

"Oh, do you?" Shadis mocked.

"Yes, sir," Tom replied, his bright voice now stern. "But I also know that you cannot beat me ...or break me down more than I have already been."

He squared his shoulders more, almost as if he were staring Shadis down like the girl who confronted him just before.

"And you cannot," he continued, "make me feel more weak than I already do when I look in the mirror."

William and the other girl continued to stare, William's face twisted into confusion through his bloody nose, the girl's face almost expressionless.

"So you can move on to someone else who hasn't hit rock bottom..."

Tom straightened up, puffing out his chest as he said the final word.

"...sir."

Shadis clenched his jaw, glaring down at the obstinate teenager before him. It wasn't the first time he had trouble with a new recruit like this, but never before had one so irritatingly defied him like this. Usually if they were going to defy him, and succeed, they would behave more like a certain officer who he tried to break a decade prior.

But here this kid was, laughing in his face and giving an "inspiring" speech. Glaring up at him, and he glared back, both at a stalemate. With a final decision, Shadis spoke.

"Go run," he ordered.

Tom almost smirked, but kept his expression stern as he replied.

"Yes, sir."

Tom turned from the line and broke into a slow jog, which grew a bit faster as he got away from the other lines of recruits. William stared at him as he disappeared, somewhat intrigued, until the girl holding him up poked his nose, sending shooting pain through his face and also causing him to turn his head forward again. He yelped out in pain slightly, but his voice was drowned out by Shadis yelling at his next target.

Soon, the ones that needed it had their beings torn down from the inside out.

* * *

_Skip ahead to dinner time_

“Ow! Hey would ya take it easy Sam?” William said while looking at the girl patching him up. This was the same girl that was standing next to him in line.

“Oh would you shut up. It’s your own damn fault that you’re hurt so quit bitching.”

Sam was twenty-three years old, five feet five inches tall, and weighed 120 pounds. She had black hair and dark-brown eyes that would slightly change color depending on her mood. Sometimes they would get darker and sometimes they would turn a more green color. She has a hard time expressing emotion but usually does so through her facial features.

“Alright,” she said, “it looks like your nose is broken and you bit your cheek so hard that it started bleeding.”

She reached in the first aid kit and taped up his nose and gave him some cotton balls to hold against the cut on the inside of his cheek.

Sakura sat there with a sad look on her face. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault. If I wasn’t so weak-hearted…”

She teared up as William flicked her forehead. “Don’t talk like that, alright. You’re not weak-hearted; you have the biggest heart out of everyone here.”

Sam started putting the medical kit away. “And besides,” she said with a slight irritated tone, “it’s his own damn fault he got hurt.”

She sighed and sat next to both of them. “But I can see why you did it. Just don’t piss Shadis off even more, alright? You REALLY don’t want him as an enemy in here.”

William looked at her. “I know. Oh and, thanks for bandaging up my nose.”

He stood up and threw the cotton balls out. "I know we’ll survive this training… together. Then… we’ll join the Survey Corps… together.”

He said this with a serious face, as he knew the next three years would be some of the hardest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a few snippets toward the middle of this chapter that were originally developed for the comic version  
> ~Sam


	2. Meet the Trainees: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basic training begins, better for some than for others.

"On your feet, Shizuru!"

Sakura pulled her face up out of the dirt, dizzy from fainting. Her hands grabbed at the dirt as she tried desperately to push herself back up. Light-headed, she lost her strength and collapsed back onto her stomach, tears dripping down her cheeks. Her chest shook as the first sob escaped her throat, a dry sound that sliced through the silence of the morning. Shadis looked down at her from his horse, and she could hear the horse's hooves padding around her as he stared down, though she couldn't see his face. She could only hear his voice and a constant barrage of insults and negative reinforcement.  
  
"Get to your fucking feet or you're getting left behind!"  
  
Her heart jumped at his voice and she flinched, crying out with a small yelp in fear. Her arms scrambled around beside her, managing to get enough of a solid foundation to push herself up and gain footing. She struggled to her feet and ran a few steps forward, then stumbled, almost falling down again, the tears pouring down her cheeks full force.  
  
"You don't get these second chances outside the walls, egg roll! If we were out there, you would've been Titan food by now!"  
  
The rest of the group had run ahead, though all of them could hear Shadis yelling at Sakura in the back. They whispered amongst themselves, some agreeing with Shadis, some defending Sakura, and some saying they should just keep moving.  
  
"She's not going to make it, is she?"  
  
This voice was Tom's, and he spoke to William, who ran beside him at around the same pace. William eyed him suspiciously, picking up the pace a bit to run next to him. Sam ran on the other side of Tom, silent, not looking anywhere but the path ahead. They maintained speed toward the front of the group, though not at the very front, pacing themselves at an even speed as to not grow too weary.  
  
"What do you mean?" William asked in reply, glancing at Tom in curiosity.  
  
"What I mean is that I don't think she's cut out for this, she should probably go work in the fields, or just go home."  
  
Tom's voice was matter-of-fact, as if what he was saying about Sakura should be obvious. William stared at him, eyes wide in offense and slight anger. The emotions knotted themselves together in his chest, causing him to pant once or twice to get a proper breath. He picked up his pace a bit to stay completely even with Tom, glaring at him.  
  
"We haven't even gotten through the first week yet, give her a break!" he pleaded angrily between breaths.  
  
"You're right, and look at her," Tom retorted, glancing over his shoulder.  
  
William followed his gaze back to Sakura struggling toward the back, then growled something unaudible under his breath. He glanced back toward the front almost immediately, stopping to look at Sam's face for a moment. She appeared calm and aloof, staring straight ahead, as if she were just automatically going through the motions of running. William swallowed hard against a lump that formed in his throat, then looked back at Tom, a stern and serious stare on his face as he spoke.  
  
"Look, man, she joined this so that she could help people, and in my book, that's all the strive you need to get stronger."  
  
Tom glanced over at him, an eyebrow raised as he absorbed what William said to him. Then he returned to looking ahead and sighed.  
  
"Fair enough," he breathed.  
  
At the back of the group, Shadis continued berating Sakura to urge her ahead, and she had even made it to her feet and started running at steady, though slow, pace. She  panted heavily and struggled to move faster, fatigued tears streaming down her face. Her chest heaved with each breath, her arms swinging almost uselessly as her weary legs threatened to buckle beneath her. Shadis glared down at her, keeping the horse at a pace even with her as he yelled down at her.  
  
"Pick it up, you're still in Titan food territory!" he bellowed. "If we were out there, they'd scoop you up and bite you in half, just like the egg roll you are!"  
  
"Not while I'm here."  
  
Sakura looked up at the new voice, blinking through the tears to see William jogging beside her. She smiled, though it was a tired smile, the tears shining on her cheeks making  
it look like she was crying from happiness rather than defeat. William smiled back, warmth rising in his chest at just the sight of her smiling despite her fatigue. Shadis, however, let out a huff at seeing William running with her, and his glare intensified.  
  
"Geary!" he growled. "Get back up front, now!"  
  
"No offense, sir," William replied calmly, keeping pace with Sakura, even as she started to slow down a bit. "But I'm fine right here."  
  
Shadis hissed through his teeth and pulled back on the horse to slow down a bit more. He glared down at them both, though William could just barely see a note of concern in his sunken eyes.  
  
"Well then, if you want to be with your fucking cow of a girlfriend so bad," he retorted, growling. "Then the rest of us will just leave your asses behind!"  
  
At that point, another person fell behind the main group, lining up in step with William and Sakura. William stared at the newcomer in near shock, a surprised smile spreading slowly across his face as the realization warmed his heart even more. Sakura was struggling too hard to look over at him properly, panting and fighting against the aches in her legs and torso from running on the impacted dirt.  
  
"Finch!" Shadis roared, glaring down at the other boy. "What the fuck are you doing?!"  
  
Tom stared up at him and smirked, dangerous mischief dancing in his eyes.  
  
"No man gets left behind," he replied. "Sir."  
  
Fuming, Shadis urged the horse forward, but kept his gaze on the three running together.

"Suit yourselves!" he bellowed. "If you shits want to fail by coddling that goddamn egg roll, then be my fucking guest--!"

Suddenly, his horse bucked a bit, making an alarmed sound as it skidded almost to a stop. He looked forward in time to see one of the other trainees standing still in front of his horse. The person was petite, though they stood in front of the horse as if they were ready to stop it with their bare hands. He yanked back on the reins to stop completely, hooves skidding in the packed-down dirt. As the dust settled, he met the student's eyes, a copper-colored glare staring up at him from under black hair.

"What the fuck are you doing, Garrett?!" he roared.

Sam glared up at him, silent and motionless as the others jogged past her. Sakura stared at her worriedly, but kept going forward, the look on her friend's face enough to urge her forward a bit faster. William and Tom both merely glanced in Sam's direction, though William followed Sakura's example and picked up speed. Tom only followed suit after seeing them speed up, not realizing that the other two had been signaled silently by their friend.

As the three ran ahead, Sam continued to glare coldly up at Shadis, her stance strong and wide. Shadis stared back, the glare leaving his face for a moment, as if recalling a forgotten memory, but it was shortlived. He glowered down at her again, clenching his teeth.

"Are you sacrificing yourself for that egg roll, too, Garrett?!" he growled.

"Her name is Sakura Shizuru," she snarled back, venom coating her voice. "Call her an egg roll one more time, and see what happens to you."

Shadis scowled at the threat, staring down at the impudent woman. He brought the horse up next to her, still glaring hatefully down at her. She glared back, muscles tensed, ready to defend herself, or even attack, if needed. Her right foot stepped back, strengthening her stance more, and her hands curled as they flexed from the tension. Shadis, his stare dangerous, sneered at her and her body language, then spoke.

"Keep moving, Garrett," he growled, kicking his horse to get it moving again.

Sam watched as he rode past her, only moving her eyes, which were still fixed in the same glare. She turned a bit as he got a safe distance away, the glare fading out to angered surprise. Her chest expanded a bit, then dropped as she let out a hiss through her teeth. She pushed off from her stance into a sprint, catching up to William, Sakura, and Tom.

* * *

 _That night_  
  
A book lay open on a weathered desk, the pages yellowed from age and use. A list of handwritten names, some marred by smudges, lined the open page. The door to the room opened, and Sam walked inside, still dressed in her trainee uniform. Shadis looked up from the book, a serious, but not angry, stare on his face.

"Good evening, Garrett." His voice was even, almost calm.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Her voice was just as calm, but monotone.

Shadis stood, walking over to the window that overlooked his desk. He folded his hands behind his back, staring out at the night, the soft lights from the surrounding buildings casting a solemn glow on the dirt throughout the compound.

"You know, I can see you have a hard shell," he began, continuing to gaze out the window. "And you definitely know how to use it to your advantage. You also have 'that look,' too, so it's redundant of me to try to beat you down like I did your two pathetic friends. However..."

He turned to face her, and began walking across the room to where she stood. He noticed that she kept her glare on him the entire time, as if studying his every movement, no matter how small. A defensive strategy, and one that was all too familiar to him.

"You're not nearly torn down enough to be at my level yet," he warned. "That kind of hurt only happens with time."

He stood beside her, meeting her sideways glare with one of his own. He could see her muscles tense clearly, especially the way her shoulders squared themselves upon his approach, confirming his suspicions about this girl he'd only seen in passing, only barely spoken to years ago. Predictable, and somehow fitting, she was definitely expecting a punishment borne of violence, a fact betrayed by her expression void of fear.

"But you'll get there," he breathed, leaning down toward her ear as he spoke the next and final word. "Gouldey."

He heard her take in a sharp breath, and he stood up straight again. She hadn't moved, but her eyes were wide open, terrified, the final piece of proof he needed. He turned toward the door and began to walk out, but a noise behind him caused him to stop. He looked back toward Sam, who had turned around to face him, a stern glare replacing the terrified expression she had just moments ago.

"You're not so tough, Shadis," she snarled. "You can try to intimidate me, but I've seen you cry before, back at Shiganshina. I know just how pathetic you can be."

He glared at her for a moment, studying her expression. His mind traveled back to a border town, one that no longer stood as a pinnacle of civilization, but as humanity's failure in complacency. A woman knelt before him, sobbing hysterically, as he did the same after pouring out a confession of failure. He looked up briefly to see another woman, substantially younger than the woman crying in front of him, standing at the edge of the street where his injured and battered comrades traveled back toward headquarters. Her long black hair, which reached past her shoulders, framed a pitying and hardened face, and a look in her eyes staring down at him that made him do a double-take to make sure she wasn't a mirage of someone else.

"No, Sam..." he said finally, his mind coming back to reality as he beheld this woman in his office, with shorter hair and no softness remaining in her face. "The toughest people..."

He paused, studying her glaring face for any sign of breaking, any sign at all that the memories he knew were racing through her head would cause her to falter. Nothing.

"...Are the ones who can cry."

Sam's eyes widened, an image flashing into her mind of a house, surrounded by farmland. She stood outside it, staring out at a large tree, her face weary, sullen, and dry. Satisfied, Shadis walked out of the room, his footsteps disappearing down the hallway. Sam remained there for a few moments, frozen, eyes wide, staring forward. She started to shake and took a step to the right, then three to the left, pacing around the room to calm down. The reality of his words, all of them, hit her fully, her mind racing and calculating, trying to make sense of it.

_How could he... how could he know all of that?_

She glanced over at the desk, the open book placed in a strange way, almost deliberately for someone else to read it. She leaned over and stared down at the list of names, her eyes stopping at a familiar name-- a group of them, in fact-- and she let out a sigh.

"Keith Shadis..." she whispered, closing her eyes. "Of course."

She reached over and closed the book, revealing the Wings of Freedom and the number 843 in black ink, then she turned away from the desk. She walked out the door and closed it as well, heading for dinner at the mess hall.

* * *

 _Two weeks later_  
  
"Keep up the pace!"

Running again, this time in a harsh rainstorm. All the trainees wore their cloaks with the hoods up, the green material blending with the scenery a bit. The trail was narrow, only allowing two people at a time side-by-side, rocks littering the outer edges as a cruel reminder to obey the two-person rule. Tom and Sam ran about even toward the front of the group, both keeping a steady pace. William ran just behind them, easily keeping in step with the two people in front of him. Even Sakura, who had been fainting from all the exertion in the weeks before, managed to keep up with the bulk of the group, and was now running beside William. Shadis rode his horse beside the mass of trainees, on the outer edge of the rocks, urging them to keep going forward.

"Remember that this is nothing!" he yelled. "This is just to see if you maggots can run naked! You'll have to keep this same pace carrying your maneuver gear on your scrawny hips!"

Their boots splashed through the mud, the slick surface making it hard on the weakest trainees to keep up. Tom noticed, and he looked over at Sam and sighed.

"This certainly sucks," he commented.

"Why?" she asked, panting a bit.

"This is a scored run, and we have to do it in these conditions."

"Are you expecting him to wait until the weather is ideal? That's stupid."

"No, that's not what I mean."

He glanced back, toward those struggling at the rear.

"It's just bad timing for those guys," he continued. "They'll be going home."

"So what?" she retorted, interrupting her form by hopping over a rock in her path. "Better for them to get booted out now rather than give them false hope."

"Fair enough, but it still sucks," he sighed. "I liked a few of them."

"Yeah, well-- SHIT!"

Sam cried out as her right boot caught on something mid-stride, causing her to lose her footing and pitch forward abruptly. Her right leg twisted sideways violently and she fell off the trail to the right. Tom noticed she was falling a bit too late, his hand reaching out and missing her arm by mere centimeters. Her right foot, twisted at an awkward angle, slid on the mud from the momentum, and with a loud crack! her shin impacted one of the rocks that had littered their path for the last few hundred meters. She tumbled forward, rolling twice before stopping the roll with her arms, ending up face down just beyond edge of the pathway. She lay in the mud for a few long moments, the rain pounding down on her back and legs, the sound of hooves and boots on wet mud echoing in her head.

"Fuck..." she hissed, pushing herself up on her forearms.

She turned her head back slightly, seeing the rock she hit, as well as a tree root sticking up out of the ground, very similar in color to the mud around it. She hissed another curse under her breath, and again when she looked down at her arms covered in mud. Footsteps pattered toward her and she turned to them to see Sakura jogging over to her from the group.

"Sam! Oh no, are you okay!" Sakura asked frantically. She knelt down next to her friend, looking all around her mud-stricken body, as if searching for something.

"I'm fine, Sakura," Sam groaned, waving her away. "Keep moving or you'll fall behind."

"B-but you're bleeding!"

"...what?"

She looked back and to the right, where Sakura pointed through the rain. Her right leg had landed in a puddle when she landed, and the water in the puddle was tinged with red. She blinked a couple of times, as if trying to process the unusual color in the water. Then, the realization hit her like a brick.

Blood. Strange, nothing hurt except her pride.

"Shizuru! Garrett! Get moving!"

Shadis rode across the muddy path on his horse, visibly furious. Sakura obeyed immediately, scrambling back to her feet. She ran off to join the rest of the group, her boots splashing against the other puddles surrounding the trail. She glanced back once over her shoulder, a look of worry marring her features, then continued on to catch up with William. Sam, however, remained on the ground, contemplative, staring down at her leg. Her mind felt scrambled, almost to the point of incomprehension at the sight of blood.

_I must just be stunned or something..._

"Garrett, get up!" Shadis yelled down at her.

"Yes, sir," she responded, surprised at how pained her tone sounded to her ears.

She pushed up with her hands and put weight on her left foot and started to stand. As she moved to put weight on her right leg, however, it buckled immediately and slipped out from under her. She lurged down violently and her knee landed back in the puddle with a bloody splash. That's when the pulses of sharp agony rippled up through her shin and the exterior side of her knee, the pain that her brain had suppressed for the last minute or two after the shock of the fall. She let out a sharp breath, cursing as it slipped through her teeth, her hand resting on her thigh as if holding herself up.

"Garrett! On your feet!"

She tried again, pushing up with more force and momentum, but as soon as she put weight on her right leg, she fell back down again. She let out a curse again, pushing herself up enough to get her head out of the mud, which now clung to her face like splatters of brown paint. Panting from the exertion and the pain, she tried to stand again, but even her left foot couldn't gain solid footing due to the impacted mud, like she was trying to get up after slipping on ice.

"Garrett."

She looked up, ready to face whatever insult or beration Shadis had for her this time, glaring, only to see him offering his hand from the back of his horse. She hissed through her teeth, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. His face stared down at her, without a glare, a serious and calm expression painting his aging features instead. She took the offer of assistance, pulling herself up onto her left leg using the strength from her arm as support. She shifted weight over to her right one again, as if from instinct, but it buckled just like before and she lost her balance. Shadis grabbed her forearm, catching her before she fell again. He looked down at her leg, genuine concern on his hardened face as he assessed the damage. Some of the apparent injury seemed obscured by her boot, but he could see the torn fabric from the impact and the growing bloodstains on her pants around her knee.

"You're not going to finish," he said calmly.

She hissed again, glaring up at him. Her face defiant, she felt her chest tighten slightly, panic seeping into her mind. She resisted the grip he had on her arm, wrenching it away from his hand as she started to take a step back.

"It just hurts a bit," she spat back at him. "I can make it, so--FUCK!"

Her leg caved again just as she took a defensive stance, and Shadis reached out to grab her upper arm to keep her from falling. She let out a pained groan in protest, breathing heavily from the agony assaulting her leg. She glared up at him, the tension around her eyes and jaw evidence enough of the pain she experienced, the pain she was willing to suppress to finish the run.

"I'm pulling you out," Shadis insisted, lifting her up on the back of the horse, despite her resistance. He yelled toward the rest of the trainees, "You have less than a hundred meters left! Make it count!"

He kicked the horse and rode forward, past the running group to a tent set up at the end of the course just a short distance away. Sam looked over her shoulder at the group, catching William's eye just as the horse rounded the fence and disappeared from view.

A few minutes later, William and Sakura entered the medical tent. Sakura glanced around eagerly, a worried and desperate look on her exhausted face. William appeared just as concerned, yet calmer, his hands on Sakura's shoulders. The two finished their test in good form, but with heavy hearts. Sakura had reported to William what she saw when she checked on Sam after she fell, and insisted on coming straight to the tent to make sure she was okay. William, on the other hand, wasn't quite as worried about his friend's health so much as the look she gave him as Shadis carried her away to the medical tent. The last time he saw that much pain on her face, they had--

"Hun, over there!" Sakura exclaimed suddenly, pointing.

He followed her gesture and spotted Sam at the back of the tent, laying on her side on a cot. She was propped up on one arm, a blanket covering her legs and waist. They walked over quickly, Sakura in front, her eyes wide with worry. As they reached the cot, Sakura ran up to the side of it, clutching her hands to her chest.

"Are you okay?" Sakura asked in a rush, concern coating her voice.

Sam looked up at the two, a tired scowl on her face. She stared at each of them in turn, judging the exhaustion on their faces as success in the test. She didn't answer the question for a moment, and instead reached for the blanket casually and threw it off of her legs so that it landed at the foot of the cot. Instead of the white pants, she wore tight athletic shorts that ended just above her knees, left in that state from the medical treatment. Her right knee was bandaged with elastic, while the area below her knee to about halfway down her shin was bandaged with gauze. Bloodstains were visible through the gauze, tracing the line of a deep cut on her shin.

"Does this look okay to you?" she asked coldly, gesturing to the bandaged leg.

William raised his eyebrows, whispering "shit" under his breath. He looked toward her face and exchanged another stare with her, a silent communication along the same channel they used as she rode away on Shadis's horse. Sakura leaped forward and hugged her, gaining a pained grumble in response. Sam put one arm around Sakura's back lightly in a weak attempt to return the hug, letting out a pained sigh.

William went to the other side of the cot to get a closer look at her leg, his expression grave. He ran his hand through his hair, shaking it out at the back of his head. His eyes searched the area around the cot as he contemplated the situation, desperate for a solution.

"Can you walk on it at all?" he asked finally.

"Dunno," Sam mumbled, pulling away from Sakura, who plopped herself down to sit on the edge of the cot.

"Well, do you think you'll get sent home? I mean that was our test to pass basic training."

"I doubt that."

She leaned back against her elbows, staring straight ahead at the other side of the tent. She narrowed her eyes as Sakura stared at her from her sitting position. William raised an eyebrow again, giving Sam a questioning look in response to her reply.

"Shadis said I have enough points to pass anyway," Sam clarified. "But he's going to have me finish the course as soon as I can walk again, just to be fair."

"Well, luckily we have a few days off from the hard stuff, right?" Sakura chimed in, smiling. "So you can rest and get better, and then we'll start training on the 3D manuever gear!"

Sakura's voice held hope, almost a blind optimism, something strange in their world.  Sam was silent in response, her eyes narrowing more as she stared ahead. William noticed this and rubbed his eyes, sighing. He looked toward Sakura and shook his head, his stare serious and almost scolding.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked, the worry on her face again.

"That test isn't for a few days," he said, forcing a smile on his face in an attempt to rid her of the worry. "Let's worry about that when she gets better, okay?"

"If I get better," Sam corrected coldly. "I passed basic training, but..."

William looked at her sternly, a near-glare staring down at her. She stared back at him, an eyebrow raised in inquiry toward the nasty look.

"You're not giving up, are you?" he asked, his scolding look from earlier translated into his voice.

"Don't be stupid," she breathed on a huff, leaning back to look up at the roof of the tent. "I'm going to do whatever it takes to get into the Survey Corps, you know that. I'm not going to let some shitty-ass leg injury stop me."

William stared at her for a moment, then smiled sadly. He pulled over the chair sitting near the cot and sat down, slouching down in it.

"I know," he replied. "And that's what worries me."

She narrowed her eyes at him, the serious stare on his face communicating much more than his words. Turning her head away, she sighed and stared up at the roof again.

In the distance, the bell announcing dinner time echoed around the compound. Sakura and William emerged from the tent, with Sam using William as a crutch to walk, and the three headed for the mess hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is a co-written chapter that I have to consolidate and edit together without seams, so it won't be uploaded for a few days.


	3. Meet the Trainees: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3DMG training commences.

>   _A few weeks had passed and everyone had passed basic training. Sakura fainted from exhaustion the first time around but once she got used to it she was able to do it and stay on her feet afterwards. William completed the basic training with not much trouble at all, nothing special but nothing terrible about his times either. Lastly, Sam had also completed basic training but, in the process, she had injured her knee. This worried the three about if she would be able to work the maneuver gear or not, considering you need a decent amount of balance to work it. Finally, the day had come for them to start their maneuver gear training and hone their skills as soldiers in the hand-to-hand training as well._

William looked back at Sakura, who was standing behind him in line and gave her a reassuring smile. “Come on, everything is going to be fine.”

Sakura sighed and whispered to herself. “Yeah, I hope so…”

Sam stood behind them in the same line and had a very angry look on her face. She had not gotten much sleep since she injured her leg, and she was not looking forward to having to strain it in practice. Not to mention the fact that they really didn’t have any pain medicine on-hand, so she just had to tough it out.

Finally, it was William’s turn to try the maneuver gear.

Shadis stood there next to the maneuver gear. “Well, look who it is. I hope for your sake your skills with the gear are better than your skills at fighting, you sorry excuse for a soldier.”

William scowled at him as he walked up to the gear and unbuckled it. He then fastened it onto himself as they started to lift him up. He wobbled as soon as he left the ground, but then steadied himself. He did so for about five minutes, then they let him down.

“I’m impressed,” Shadis said with the same hate-filled look he always had.

William saluted, “Thank you sir. I’ve always had good balance.”

Shadis kept scowling. “Well now, isn’t that fucking fantastic for you? Why don’t you unfasten your tutu and let the next person try, you fuckin' ballerina!”

William quickly unfastened the harness and stepped down, once again scowling.

Sakura stepped up and Shadis gave his usual expression. “Alright egg roll, let’s see what you got.”

“Yes, sir!” Sakura shouted as she did the salute and walked up to the wires.

William was watching her from the side and smiled at her as he mouthed, “You’ll do fine.”

She smiled back and put the wires on. However, as soon as they lifted her up, it was quite obvious that she was not doing fine. As soon as her feet were off the ground, she fell face-first. Luckily, she wasn’t far off of the ground yet, so it didn’t hurt all that much.

Shadis walked up to her. “Well, if this is your way of killing titans, you might as well kiss those tits of yours goodbye, you fucking yellow dairy cow! Get off your ass and move it, now!”

She started crying a bit as she unfastened the wires and walked into William's arms. She started crying full-out now. William stroked her hair to try to calm her down.

“Shhh it’s okay. You’ll get it next time,” he smiled down at her.

Sam’s eyes yet again turned slightly darker than usual. She stepped up and didn’t even wait to be addressed before putting on the gear.

Shadis looked at her. “Well, Garrett, you look pretty goddamn confident. Let’s hope you can do better than that egg roll over there.”

Sam looked at him with an expression that could only be described as “it is fucking on”. They lifted her up and she wobbled for a couple seconds, then evened herself out as she cringed in pain. Shadis was determined to break her, so he let it go on for about 20 minutes, then they let her down. She unfastened herself and once again gave Shadis a look as she walked past that said “don’t fuck with my friends”. Shadis knew what it meant, of course, but he also knew one of his students just proved him wrong, so he had to fix that.

“Hey, Garrett,” he said as she was walking away, “why don’t you strengthen up that leg by running laps until everyone is finished with their training?”

She didn’t look back; she only give a complete face of hatred to the ground as she started running, stepping on numerous anthills on her run to try to hold back her frustration and anger.

* * *

Finally, after a few hours, everyone had finished and it was now getting towards dinner time. William and Sakura had finished their run and were waiting for Sam to come back from hers. Well, she came back, but there were two other people with her.

“Hey!” The taller boy yelled out. “Long time no see!”

Sakura’s face brightened. “Hey, I’d know that accent anywhere! It’s Tom!”

She ran towards him and Sam and hugged him. Sam, meanwhile, was still ranting about what an asshole and dickhead Shadis was. Tom ruffled Sakura’s hair and smiled down.

“Hey how’ve things been going?” Tom asked with a smile.

William walked up and gave him a one armed hug and a handshake.

“Hey man,” William said, “it’s been way too long.”

The other person that was with Sam while she was on her rant spoke up.

“Oh, sure, just forget about me, then,” she said with a smile and a joking tone in her voice.

William walked over with a smile and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, shush your face I was gettin’ to ya.” He gave her a hug as she hugged back.

Cynthia Stryder. She was 16 years old and already part of the Garrison; she had been for a year now. She was of Chinese decent and was 5 feet 3 inches tall and weighed 125 pounds. She had black hair that went down to her elbows.

“So,” she spoke as her and William parted from the hug, “how’s Sakura holding up?”

Sakura was telling Tom about everything Shadis had said to her and Tom was getting pretty furious.

William responded with a sigh, “It could be going better… but it’s nice to know she’s not the only one who got those racist comments from him. Oh, that reminds me, hey Tom!”

Tom turned his head. “Yeah man, what’s up?”

William walked over to him. “Hey, so how’d you do on the maneuver gear training?”

Tom looked proud of himself. “I was the best in my line of trainees, why?” he asked curiously.

William put his arm around Sakura’s shoulder. “Do you mind helping this one out? She kinda messed up on her first day.” He laughed a little and Sakura blushed and looked down.

Tom responded as his cheerful self, “Yeah, sure thing. I’ll work on it with her all throughout this week. By this time next week she’ll be good and ready to fly.” He smiled and gave William a thumbs-up, but then looked more serious.

“Oh and, did you hear? They found out that Titans are actually INSIDE the wall. They suspect the people obsessed with the wall know something, but they’re not saying a damn thing.”

They all took the information to heart and everyone looked at Cynthia with a concerned look.

“Oh don’t worry,” she said to all of them in reassurance. “Even if the titans escape the wall there’s still no way they’d climb it. And remember, I graduated the academy in a year, so I know how to handle myself!”

With that, they all decided it was a good idea to get some sleep and turn in for the night. They said their goodbyes and left for their separate cabins.

* * *

Sakura and Tom rose early the next day before breakfast, starting her on a run. The next step in the routine for the day was the invisible chair, which she had some trouble with, then sit ups, which were the hardest judging by how much she was struggling. After her third day of training with Tom, she collapsed at their table in the mess hall at breakfast, exhausted.

"Just leave me to die..." she moaned, her voice muffled by her arms.

William smiled from beside her, patting her shoulder reassuringly.

"You made it through basic training, you can get through this no problem," he smiled.

"No I can't!" she groaned, lifting her head up a bit. "His training is ten times harder than basic training. My legs hurt so bad I can barely walk."

Sam eyed Sakura from across the table, her eyes narrowing as she took a drink of coffee from her cup. Someone then approached the table with a tray of food, catching her eye. It was a boy of Asian descent of some kind around her height, about average age for the Trainee Corps, and what caught her eye was the light reflecting off his glasses. She stared for a moment, her cup still at her lips.

"Can I sit here?" he asked, his voice sounding nervous.

"Sure, go right ahead," William answered.

The boy sat down across from William, next to Sam, and began to eat. Sam, as if on reflex, scooted about an inch away from the new arrival, as if she were just shifting her weight in her chair, and settled into her coffee again. Tom approached the table at that point, a proud smile on his face, his arms wide apart as if presenting on a stage.

"So, Sakura, we've got time before class starts," he said, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Let's get another run in before we run out of time."

Sakura groaned, burying her face in her arms again. William patted her shoulder once more, while Tom stared down at her, confused.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked, motioning toward her.

"She's just a little tired," William replied.

"Then maybe I should wait until after lunch break, yeah?"

"Maybe you should fuck off and let her rest for the day," Sam replied, a growl in her voice.

"Pardon me?" Tom asked, though he had a similar growl in his own voice.

"I said, 'fuck off and let her rest.' Or can you not hear because talking so loudly has made you deaf?"

Tom's face turned an angry crimson, his fists shaking at his sides. He moved closer to the table, glowering down at her. She didn't meet his stare, instead choosing to stare ahead past William's head at the far wall. She drank from her cup again, slowly. Tom took in a breath, then let it out in a huff.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Tom growled.

"Right now it's you," she replied, a viciously snarky tone in her voice.

"Sam..." William warned, holding up his hand, but Tom cut him off.

"You're a real piece of work, I'm trying to be friends with you, but you refuse to open up to me," Tom retorted, gesturing to himself.

"Maybe I don't want to," she spat back.

"We're on the same squad! Squadmates are supposed to look out for each other!"

"Only when we're out in the field, Tom. I'm under no obligation to tell my squadmates my deepest secrets, especially you."

Angered, Tom swung his hand toward hers, knocking her coffee cup to the floor with a deafening crash. With a vicious glare, Sam stood up and walked up to him, clenching her teeth in a way that almost looked like she was baring them like a wild animal. Both of them had their muscles tensed, and the tension created by them hung over the table like a vicious cloud. By now, the entirety of the mess hall was watching the altercation.

"You're definitely well on your way to being a fucking police dog," she hissed, referring to the Military Police. "Though next time you should pour the scalding coffee on my head to make it more authentic!"

"That's not why I want to do it!"

"You sure about that?!"

"I'm not going to be one of THOSE MPs! Goddamn, what the hell happened to you to make you think of them like that?!"

"I already told you that I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!"

Sam pushed off her stance, her fist pulled back, ready to swing. Tom went into a defensive stance, ready to block and swing a punch of his own. They almost connected, but were both pushed back from opposite directions. William held Sam back by her shoulders, holding her arms from the back, while the boy who joined their table pushed Tom back from the front, holding him firm.

"Let go, Will!" she screeched.

"That's enough, Sam," he breathed calmly, glancing over at Sakura, who sat frozen in her seat, eyes wide and terrified..

"No matter what it was," Tom continued angrily, talking from around the boy's head. "I had rough shit in my past, too, but you don't see me taking it out on everyone else and brooding about it, yet not opening up to the people who can help!"

"We can't all pretend to be a ray of fucking sunshine like you!" she retorted, pulling against William's grasp.

"But it makes things better!"

"No it doesn't! And don't even hint that you know a fraction of what I've been through! Only a few people knew about it, and they're all fucking dead! So sit the fuck down before I make you sit permanently!"

"Newsflash, Sam, IT'S TOUGH ALL AROUND! You can't change that! The sooner you learn that, the sooner you can move the fuck on! And you're right, I don't know what you've been through, but that goes fucking double for you!"

Tom shook the boy off of him and turned on his heel. He stormed out of the mess hall, slamming the door behind him with a deafening echo. Sam twisted herself out of William's grasp, stumbling and cursing a bit as she did so after accidentally putting weight on the wrong leg. She stood still for a moment, breathing heavily, her expression dangerous. She glanced over at the boy with glasses, who was staring at her curiously.

"The fuck do you want?" she growled.

"Sam--" William started, but was interrupted by a sudden sob.

The three of them looked at Sakura, who had tears running down her face. She tried desperately to wipe them away, but more just kept falling in a nonstop stream of fear and anguish. She rubbed at her eyes, wiping more and more tears, desperate sobs escaping her throat with every breath.

"Please don't fight each other," she choked, looking at Sam with pleading eyes. "You're so scary when you get like that, and I don't like it, it's scary..."

More tears fell than she could wipe away, and her voice cracked with another sob. William looked back at her, his face sullen and concerned. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind her, kissing the top of her hair while he stroked his hand through it. Sakura, managing to get enough tears out of her eyes to see a bit better, gazed up at Sam, pleading against her scowl.

"Why won't you smile anymore?" she asked desperately, her voice cracking again.

She then continued sobbing, placing her face in her hands, now unable to speak. William hugged her closer, whispering in her ear that it was okay, everything was okay. Sam's face softened, slightly, and only for a moment, then her face twisted back into a scowl. She hissed through her clenched teeth and turned her head away, unable to look at her crying friend any longer. She stared at the ground for a few long seconds, Sakura's sobs and William's calm voice bombarding into her thoughts. She let out an irritated sigh and shook her head, swallowing hard as each sob from Sakura caused her chest to tighten more and more. She muttered a curse under her breath, kicking the remains of her cup out of her way. She then followed Tom's example and made her way to the door, storming out into the grounds to face the rest of the morning.

* * *

> _Tom was right. After the next week Sakura was ready and able to use the maneuver gear. A few more weeks after practicing in the forest with fake titans, they started their combat training, and they all managed to pass, some more easily than others._

"All squads, about face!"

Shadis's voice echoed over the trainees in front of him, organized in lines of roughly twelve each. He began to pace, his arms crossed behind his back, each step quick and authoritative. He stared over their heads, studying them, watching, almost begging for one of them to make a move out of turn.

"Today, we'll see just how little guts you maggots have got," he bellowed, stopping as his sentence finished. "Double up, and..."

He turned his head and glared at the three trainees in front of him. From left to right were Sakura, William, and Sam, each with their usual expressions of worry, determination, and disdain, respectfully.

"I mean _double_ up," he snarled, almost as if he were talking solely to their little group.

The other trainees scattered across the open dirt field, figuring out who would be with whom. Childhood friends clung to each other, lone wolves wandered around before finding each other and begrudgingly pairing up with each other. Within a minute, almost all of the trainees were grouped haphazardly in pairs, standing around a bit nervously, whispering amongst themselves, speculating as to what this "new" training could be. Sakura, William, and Sam, however, loitered at their spots in line, obviously not in pairs. Sakura clutched William's arm, tears visible in her wide eyes.

"He's doing this on purpose, isn't he?" she whimpered, puffing out her cheeks a bit.

"Well, you know, we were bound to be separated eventually," William replied softly, though the exasperation in his voice betrayed his true thoughts on the matter. "It might as well happen now."

"But he knows we're close!" Sakura cried. "How could he rip us apart like this?"

"It'll be ok, I promise."

"It's not fair!"

Sakura buried her face in his arm, sobbing quietly. William patted her head, stroking her hair, his face falling a bit into a shadow of sadness.

"...I'll go find someone else," Sam said suddenly, breaking the two out of their brief intimate moment.

William and Sakura both turned their heads immediately to her, denial clear on their faces. They beheld their friend standing out to the side, her arms folded against her chest, the same cold scowl on her face tainted by a slight tinge of regret.

"You don't have to do that," William said, his voice sounding a bit shaky.

"Yes, I do," Sam replied, her tone firm.

"No, we can figure it out, maybe hide in the back--"

William motioned his hand toward her, as if pointing toward the rear of the field. His eyes desperate, he begged with his words, his tone, and his expression.

"No, William," Sam retorted, her tone progressively becoming more harsh. "That's just begging for trouble. You guys be partners, I'll find my own."

"B-but..." Sakura spoke up, peeking out from behind William's arm. "I'll feel bad if you're with someone else, and--"

"And I'll feel worse if either of you go with someone else, because I don't trust any of these fucks bumbling around here."

Sakura yelped slightly, hiding back behind William's arm. William lifted his arm a bit, protectively, staring at Sam with a stern face.

"Sam, easy," he said calmly, holding up his hand.

Sam sighed, turning away from them. She stood silently, not moving, staring out at the other trainees. William couldn't see her face, and he didn't really need to at this point. That sigh and her body language were enough; he didn't need to scold her more. After a few moments, she spoke.

"It's the hand-to-hand training," she murmured. "I saw the wooden knives as we were coming in, though..."

She shifted her weight a bit, scratching her right boot absently against the dirt. William felt himself smirk a bit, seeing the unconscious habit bringing on a feeling of nostalgia.

"I didn't think we were actually going to do that _today_ ," she continued, tapping the toe of her boot. "And I don't trust any of these shitty-ass dumbasses sparring with either of you, so I think it's best I--"

"Any of you need a partner?"

The three of them turned toward the person who spoke, each recognizing his voice. Sam glared at him, clenching her jaw, the muscles in her arms tensing in frustration against her chest. She made a small huffing sound at her sentence being cut short, but a stare from William staved off her instinctive reaction. William turned toward the newcomer and smiled, an attempt to shake the last few minutes out of his expression.

"Oh, uh..." William started, pausing to think for a moment. "Hey, Tom."

"Hello!" the cheeky boy replied, smiling brightly.

Tom looked at each of them in turn, meeting Sakura's desperate gaze, William's slightly forced smile, and stopping at Sam's scowl for a moment, then back to William. He shrugged nonchalantly, grinning.

"I didn't seem to find a partner, so I saw all of you faffing about over here and thought, 'That's an odd number of people over there, one of them must be looking for a partner, too.' So, here I am!"

Sam stared at him for a moment, scowling still, her eye twitching a bit. Then, she let out a sigh, and uncrossed her arms. She started to approach him, but didn't make direct eye contact.

"Well, that saved me some trouble. Let's--"

"I'll be your partner!"

She was once again interrupted, this time by a much more familiar voice. She turned her head sharply toward the voice, seeing Sakura standing out from behind William, her face stern and determined in a way that was all too familiar. She clenched her jaw again, her eyes wide, and her gaze flicking away for a moment to read William's expression. He looked just as surprised as she did, so she returned her gaze to her other friend.

"Sakura--" Sam started, her voice scolding.

"That's great, then!" Tom cheered, waving his hand toward Sakura. "Let's go, then, I'm sure there's still an open spot somewhere for us."

"Wait--"

Sam walked forward, putting herself between Tom and Sakura. She stared down at Sakura, her arm out protectively. William held up his hand again, walking slowly toward Sam. She whipped her head around, glaring at him as his hand got within an inch of her shoulder, and he pulled it away, just as slowly. Her gaze didn't return to Sakura until the girl spoke.

"Sam, it's okay," Sakura smiled sadly, starting walking forward to follow Tom. "I'll be okay, and this way you and William can be partners."

"But..." Her voice trailed off, stiffening her arm against the movement, her eyes narrowing in a stern glare down at her friend. She knew she didn't need to finish her sentence, and the regret in Sakura's eyes confirmed that.

"I-It's okay, really..." Sakura murmured, uncertainty coating her voice.

"Sakura..." Sam warned, her stance strengthening.

"If there's a problem, I can just let you guys deal with it and I'll see if there's somebody else," Tom offered, taking a step back.

"No, you'll be partnered with me," Sam insisted, glowering at him.

"But--" Sakura mewed, pushing against Sam's arm.

"No, Sakura."

"But it's okay, really."

"I said 'no' and that's--!"

"Actually, that's not a bad idea, Sam," William interrupted, stepping up and pushing Sakura back a bit to get between her and Sam. He put his hand out and succeeded in laying it on Sam's shoulder, attempting to calm her down.

"Don't you give me that shit, too," she growled through her teeth.

"It is, though," he said sternly.

"How so?" she snarled, narrowing her eyes at him.

"You know just as well as I do that me and Sakura wouldn't be able to go all out against each other, so it would make today pointless."

William waited for Sam to reply, but she just glared at him, silent. He continued.

"And besides, you promised to teach me how to fight someday, and this is the perfect opportunity to fulfill that promise."

Sam kept her eyes on William, narrowing them in thought. She glanced briefly to Sakura, then to Tom, studying his face, his eyes, his body language. She let out a _tch_ sound, then bumped William's hand off her shoulder.

"Fine," she spat, walking toward the open spot near where they stood. "Do what you want."

Sakura smiled, running up to Sam and hugging her from behind. She buried her face in her back, crying tears of joy.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she squealed, clutching around Sam's waist tighter.

"Don't worry about it," Sam muttered. "Now go with him, before Shadis comes over here."

She looked over to their drill instructor, who now had his arms crossed impatiently, a silent glare lowered at the four trainees taking forever to pair up. Sakura followed her gaze, then made a small yelping sound. She let go quickly and spun on her heel, running after Tom. Sam turned her head just enough to watch them walk away until they stopped, roughly fifty feet away. She sighed, then walked a few feet to her left to pair up with William, who looked at her concerned.

"She'll be fine," he said reassuringly.

"Are you telling me that, or just trying to convince yourself?" she growled.

"Maybe a little of both... but it'll be okay."

* * *

Five minutes later, William found himself staring at nothing but dirt.

"Ow..." he groaned, turning onto his back, and let out a labored breath.

He almost jumped out of his skin as a wooden object swung toward his face, flinching as it stopped just short of his nose. His chest heaved with heavy breaths, his blood pumping loudly in his ears. He stared up with wide eyes at his assailant's eyes, the cold glare he found there almost convincing him that he was about to die.

"I warned you," Sam said coldly. "And you told me not to hold back."

She stood over him, crouched, her hand wrapped around the wooden knife in a back grip, her other hand curled around the hilt for leverage.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd _throw_ me!" William replied shakily, his voice pitching up as he saw the knife move a bit.

"Well, that was where you fucked up," she replied, that cold tone still in her voice. "You have to be able to anticipate my moves..."

She moved the knife down briskly, pointing it at his throat. When she spoke next, deadly venom coated her voice.

"Or you're dead."

She stood up and stepped away from him, shaking her head to get her short bangs out of her eyes, then offered her hand. Looking up at her, William grabbed her arm above the wrist, and she did the same, and he let her pull him to his feet.

"Doesn't that hurt your leg to do that?" he asked.

"Kinda, but the maneuver gear is worse," she muttered.

The two spaced themselves apart, preparing to repeat the exercise.

"Now, I'm going to do the exact same thing, and I need you to do what I did when I got the knife from you, got it?" She spun the hilt around in her hand as she spoke, settling into her starting spot.

"I think so..." he replied, uncertain.

"Just try."

William nodded, putting his foot back and holding up his arms in what he hoped was a mirror of the stance she took with him a few minutes before, when he still had the knife. He watched as she readied the knife in her hand and crouched a bit, her left foot back a bit farther than her right. She didn't move for a few seconds, and he felt the anticipation rise in his chest. Each second clicked by, and he felt ready to move at the slightest provocation. His blood pumped loudly in his ears, his breathing much more noticeable than he thought possible. Sweat beaded on his skin; he could feel it forming, the heat from the late-morning sun almost suffocating as he waited, prepared, and expected--

She took off toward him without warning, and though he anticipated it, it took him off-guard. He took a step back from being startled, throwing off his stance slightly. Her arm without the knife swung toward his neck like it had before, a method to knock him off-balance, and without thinking he grabbed her arm and pulled it down to the side, sliding forward and tripping her mid-stride after he'd regained his footing. She fell face-first into the ground, catching herself on her forearms in a brief slide in the dirt. William spun around, smiling and panting.

"I did it!" he cheered, but then his face fell when he heard her cry out in pain.

She writhed on the ground, wrapping her arms around her right leg. She curled on her side a bit, hugging her knee to her chest. Her body shook a bit, as if she were starting to cry, but was trying hard to hold it in.

"Goddammit," William said, striding forward. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"

He fell forward, pulled by his shirt collar, the wooden knife pressed up against his gut. His wide eyes stared into hers, not out of fear, but out of sheer surprise. His friend stared at him coldly, with the eyes of a killer, their faces inches away. She then let go of his shirt and stood up, dusting herself off. He stared at her, somewhat confused, somewhat angry.

"...That wasn't nice," he whispered finally. "That was dirty..."

"Hey, it kept me alive, and survival is what matters," she shrugged, spinning the knife around in her hand. "But that was good, I'm proud of you."

He grinned, settling back into his practiced stance.

"Well I'm ready to go again, just no tricks this time."

"I'm promising nothing."

* * *

> _In that period of training, it was said that Wall Rose, the wall Cynthia had been guarding, had gotten swarmed with titans. There was no hole in the wall, yet titans somehow got into the city. Cynthia hadn’t visited the rest of the time they were in training… The next few years were indeed hard on them all but eventually they all graduated. The only one out of the four of them that had made it into the top ten was Tom, at number ten._

William approached Tom after the graduation ceremony.

“So, will you be joining the Military Police than?” he asked.

Tom smiled slightly and replied, “Yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not joining the Survey Corps. It’s not because I’m afraid of going out and helping humanity or anything, it’s just that… well… Let me put it this way for you. You guys need to go out there and give it your all to protect your squadmates and humanity in the way of gathering information. I need to go inside the walls and protect humanity from itself. For a while now, I’ve heard that it’s gotten pretty bad inside the walls, so I’m gonna do my best to try and fix it. I hope you understand. I don’t want you to think I’m a coward or anything.”

William put his hand on Tom’s shoulder and smiled. “You go in there and straighten things up man. I’m gonna miss ya while I’m out there.”

They both nodded and hugged each other.

“Tell Sakura and Sam that I said goodbye, alright? I have to leave now because they’re taking everyone who wants to who got in the top ten to the inner city. I’ll see you guys there someday!”

And with that he ran off, and Sam, Sakura, and William all started traveling towards the Survey Corps headquarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter as well as the one that follows were written in segments by the two of us and I had to splice them together, so if you've read these chapters elsewhere, some parts might be worded a bit differently or, in some cases, completely rewritten.  
> ~Sam


	4. A Way to Remember: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our three aspiring heroes are sorted onto teams based on their individual scores, or so they think.

Sam, William, and Sakura all walked up to the Survey Corps building where they would all get evaluated to see if they would be more useful gathering information with Hange’s squad, or heading onto the front lines with Levi’s.

Hange, Levi, and Erwin were in the room ready for the evaluation. Sam, William, and Sakura were the last three to be evaluated, as one at a time they stepped into the room. 

* * *

After they were all evaluated they gathered around each other.

William was the first one to speak up. “I got put in Hange’s squad. What about you guys?”

Sakura’s face lit up. “Oh, really? Me too!”

She hugged him as they both looked at Sam. She had a scowling face on as she mumbled to the floor.

“I got put on the short guy’s team…”

Sakura’s face looked a little sadder until William gave her a reassuring smile.

"Hey don’t worry about it, Sam," he said. "I’m sure we’ll get to work with each other a lot out in the field. Also, if anyone gives Sakura a hard time in the barracks, I’ll be there to set them straight.”

Sam sighed. “Yeah, I guess so. I don’t see why they have to wait to tell us the reason we got assigned to those teams until we get to the barracks, though. It’s stupid if you ask me.”

Just then Levi walked out of the room and past the three of them. As he was passing them, he turned his head to Sam.

“Let’s go. We’ve got a long ride ahead of us,” he said, then continued to walk.

Sam looked at William and Sakura one more time as she walked behind her new captain towards their horses. As she rode off, she looked behind her. She could see Sakura crying and William comforting her as he waved goodbye. She looked forward and sighed again, knowing it was going to be the second hardest thing she’s ever had to deal with.

Sam and Levi arrived at the barracks at around 8:00 pm. They got off their horses and tied them up at the stable. Levi walked over to Sam.

“That was a long ride," he said, "so if you have to take a shit, then go do it now and then meet me in front of my office, then we head for the dining hall. Everyone is eagerly awaiting your arrival.”

He then walked off inside. Sam looked at him walk away and tried to ignore the random poop comment. She followed soon after, following him to his office just down the hallway.

* * *

 Levi opened the door to his office, walking inside while Sam followed behind him. The room was simple and pristine, a bookshelf to the left of a minimalist desk. The orange light of the sunset filtered through the window behind the desk chair, casting a soft light on the wooden surface and the items arranged neatly on it. Two chairs stood against the wall next to the bookshelf, and she looked at them just as Levi grabbed one and placed it in front of his desk, facing it.

"Sit down," he said sternly, as he took his own seat behind the desk.

Sam obeyed, sitting down carefully on the wooden chair. She folded her hands in her lap and sat up straight against the back of the chair, staring sternly ahead at her squad leader. Levi, in contrast, slouched in his chair a bit, leaning one arm against the back of it, and rested his other arm out at an angle on the desk. He stared at her for a few moments, his eyes studying her body language, her expression, her posture. He lifted his eyebrows slightly, as if confused, then returned his gaze to her face.

"Do you hate me?" he asked suddenly, uncertainty in his voice.

Sam's eyes widened a bit, one eyebrow lifting in confusion. She unfolded her hands on reflex and shifted her weight on the chair uncomfortably.

"E-Excuse me?" she replied, her tone coated in confusion.

Levi's gaze left hers and stared down at the desk. A single sheet of paper rested under his arm, a report from a previous assignment, with a list of the dead staring up at him as if passing judgment. Sam followed his gaze, seemingly out of habit, and she took in a stuttered breath when her eyes caught part of the writing: the year 850, emblazoned in the heading. Fresh creases marred the paper in two places, as if it had been folded into thirds, probably for the envelope laying beside it. She looked back toward his face, which he still held downturned to the paper, unseeing, as if his mind were elsewhere at the moment.

"I was one of the lead captains during the 57th Expedition," he said finally, carefully, looking up slowly to meet her stare. "My squad was escorting Eren Jaeger."

The gaze he met he expected, but his hand clenched together slightly in response anyway. Her eyes had widened with shock, but blended with an angry glare, her brow furrowed together and jaw clenched. Her hands clenched into fists in her lap, and he swore he saw her arms and shoulders tense, as if she were ready to leap across the table. Another familiar reaction.

"So, if you're going to be on my squad," He continued, keeping his voice stern. "I have to make sure you trust me, and that this won't be an issue."

Sam took her gaze away at that moment, gritting her teeth together as her jaw clenched further, grinding her teeth painfully. She struggled to push the thoughts away, the memories, the confusion, the reminder of that summer, the reason for that decision. One image forced itself into her mind, the burned image of a bloodstained wagon, empty, rolling past her as the desperation and panic pressed against her chest. She tried to clench her teeth more and then let out a hissing breath, pushing the image away again with all the anger she'd built up over the last three years. Her gaze returned to Levi, stern and hardened as always, but her eyes betrayed the fury. He blinked slowly, judging his timing, waiting patiently for the feelings he'd boiled up in her to subside enough for him to continue.

"Now..." he breathed, sitting up with both arms resting on the table. He felt his voice shaking ever so slightly, something he couldn't seem to stop. "Do you..."

He saw her face twitch a bit, her look softening in a way that was almost unnoticeable.

"...Hate me...?"

Sam looked down at that point, averting her gaze so that she stared at the grain on the front of the desk. Her chest ached, that dry throbbing pain rising in her throat characteristic of an emotion she could no longer express. Her hands shook for a moment, and, with her jaw still clenched, she rose her eyes back up to meet his. Levi returned the stare precisely.

"No, sir..." she mumbled through gritted teeth.

She stood then, causing Levi to let out a startled grunt and sit up a bit in his chair. She turned away from him and placed her hand on the door knob, but didn't open it. Levi's stare softened while she turned away, her body language revealing much more about how she felt than her voice probably ever could. Regret seeped into his chest, but there was nothing he could do about it now. It's not like this conversation hadn't happened many times before with others, and would most likely happen again.

"Besides..."

Her voice shocked him out of his memories of this same conversation, and he focused his eyes on her just in time to see her turn her head back to him. Her gaze was strange; while her face was stern and harsh, her eyes betrayed the grief that had plagued her for years. That same grief he glimpsed at her interview, and the same he experienced himself, for the same length of time, from the same cause. She glanced away from him as she opened the door, then spoke again, her tone grave and almost venomous.

"You're not the one who crushed over 150 bones in his body..."

She then disappeared into the hallway, leaving Levi in his office. He looked down at the paper again, lingering over certain names, and let out a relieved breath. He picked it up, pulling another piece of paper from behind it. A correspondence, with the Trainee Corps seal in the heading, announcing the graduation of this year's batch of recruits, as well as a notice stating that some graduates had expressed interest in the Recon Corps. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for a note at the end indicating that a report from three years prior was attached to the letter, with no explanation as to the reason. Levi sighed and opened a drawer, dropping both pieces of paper inside. He stared at them for a few moments, then closed the drawer, and stood up to leave.

_It wasn't necessary... I already knew._

* * *

After a long walk through the barracks area of the main building and having stashed her stuff away in her room, Sam walked through the double doors into the dining room. Mikasa, Eren, Jean, and Armin were all in there, along with their captain, Levi. Sam walked in and shut the door, as all of them except for Levi got up and walked over to say hello.

Eren walked up to her and smiled as he held out his hand. “Welcome to squad Levi. My name is Eren Jaeger. We’re all very glad to have you here. Let’s take humanity back together!”

Sam shook his hand and looked at him thinking, _Take humanity back? That’s a bit of a stretch. Well, at least he’s optimistic._

She spoke out loud now. “Thank you, I’m glad to be here.”

Next Jean walked up and held out his hand with a bland look. “My name is Jean Kirschstein. Welcome aboard.”

Sam shook his hand. “Thank you.”

As Jean was walking away he was thinking to himself, S _he has hair almost as gorgeous as Mikasa’s…_

Next up was Mikasa. She walked up and also held out her hand.

“My name is Mikasa Ackerman. Welcome,” she said with a very suspicious look.

Sam slowly reached her hand out and shook it and said thank you. As she was shaking her hand, Sam was thinking, _What the hell is her problem? Why is she staring at me like that?_   Mikasa then walked back to her chair.

Lastly was Armin. “Hi there, my name’s Armin Arlert. Glad to have you on the team.”

Sam once again said thank you and shook his hand, but she noticed his eyes looking all up and down her body as his hand pulled back from hers, and he went back to his chair with a friendly smile.

Levi spoke up. “Alright, everybody sit down. We need to go over a few things and let the newcomer tell us a couple things about herself.”

Sam sat down in the empty chair across the table from Levi. “Hi, my name is Sam Garrett. It’s very nice to meet all of you and to be a part of the squad.”

Armin looked at her and spoke up. “First things first, why don’t you tell us how bad that leg injury is? You do have one don’t you?”

Sam looked at him with a bit of shock.

“Well, yeah. I mean I can still work the maneuver gear. I just hurt it during a training drill. How did you know?” She sat up with a curious face.

Armin just kept staring at her.

“Well,” he said, “I noticed as you were standing up that you were putting most of your weight on your left leg. Also, when you sat down, you took your time and went a little slower than most people your age do, shifting your weight to your left leg again while holding the right one. I also noticed your hand was shaking a bit, and you gripped a little tighter than most people would during a casual handshake, giving me the suspicion something was bothering you. You know, you shouldn’t go out fighting with an injury if it’s bad, no matter how good you are.” His eyes glanced over at Levi for a moment, who was sitting there drinking from his cup, then they moved back to Sam.

Sam looked at him with a bit of annoyance and a bit impressed at the same time. “Look, I didn’t say anything because I knew I could handle it. It’s not broken or anything, I just sprained it at one point and it never got treated properly, and now my leg hurts all the time. That’s all I know about it. If I can still walk, I can fight.”

Armin looked at her a bit longer, then sighed.

Levi put his cup on the table.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way, let’s go over the plan that we’ll be training for for the next few months.” He crossed his legs, leaned back, and put his boots up on the table. “We’re going to a nearby town that got deserted after the first titan attack. We always keep an eye on the amount of titans that are in each town as we go through them, as to see which ones are better to avoid on our trips outside the wall. But, in this case, we’re going there because there’s so many titans. In this town, there are at least double the amount of titans there are in the others we’ve visited. Our mission is to go there and find out what’s so significant about this town. The teams for this mission are going to be split into pairs, since it’s a relatively small town and we want to be as discrete as possible so we can at least try to stay out of sight.

"The teams are as follows: Jaeger and Ackerman, Arlert and Kirschstein, and myself and Garrett. Now, if there are no questions, then everyone is to go back to their assigned rooms and get to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

Everyone nodded and got up as Jean, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa left the room. Levi had picked up his cup and started to walk towards the door when Sam stood up.

“Captain, may I have a moment of your time? I need to talk to you about something.”

Levi looked back at her with an expressionless face and sighed. He walked back over to the table and sat down, as did Sam.

“Captain,” she continued, “why me? Out of the three of us, William had the best control with the maneuver gear, and Sakura did the best on the written exam, so why did you pick me?”

Levi looked at her and stared for a moment and went to take a sip from his cup, but realized he had already drank it all. Sam stood up and walked over to the cabinet.

“Do you want some wine?” she said as she pulled out a bottle.

Levi stared down at his cup. “I don’t drink. Just get me some apple juice.”

Sam turned back to the cabinet and held in a laugh as she got out the apple juice for the infamous and almighty titan killer. She walked over to the table after pouring the drinks and gave Levi his as she sat down and set hers in front of her. Levi took a sip then swirled the apple juice around in his cup a little.

“You wanna know why… Because as soon as you walked into that interview room I knew… I could tell by the look in your eyes that you held the most pain than anyone else I saw that day. More pain than any one of my current squad members… the type of pain that is only had when you’ve lost someone you truly care about. What the others wouldn’t understand is that losing someone you love… and losing someone that you’re in love with… are two completely different types of pain.”

Sam froze, and her eyes went wide as her hands started shaking a little. She got a painful look in her eyes and downed her drink as Levi continued to talk.

“The reason I know what that looks like, is because I see it in myself every single day. I made the wrong choices too, and I saw the ones I cared for suffer the ultimate price for it as well. The reason I chose you is because I knew I was the only one who understood the amount of pain and suffering you live with every day. Now my objective is to help you realize that you don’t want to forget that pain, you want to form it. Think of everything that you lost and take every ounce of hurt you feel, and make that your weapon. That is why I chose you.”

He stood up and finished his apple juice.

“Well, that’s enough talk. Go to bed, we have a long day tomorrow.”

Levi walked out of the room, leaving Sam sitting there, clenching her cup with shaky hands, and once Levi had left, she let out a few tears and headed to bed. She knew now that she was on the right squad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another co-written chapter, so if you've read the original chapter elsewhere, this was probably a lot different. I had to rewrite some bits for continuity.  
> ~Sam


	5. A Way to Remember: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam does her best impression of a windmill as her first day with the Special Operations Squad begins.

Morning painted the Special Operations headquarters in soft yellows, peeking through the adjacent forest's trees in rays of gentle sunlight. In those trees, five people dressed in Recon Corps cloaks stood staggered on the branches. A mock titan stood below them, glowing gold in the morning light.

"Alright," Levi said, standing on the highest branch out of the five. "Let's see what she's got."

In his hand he held a flare gun, and he pointed it to the sky and pulled the trigger. A green signal flare rocketed into the sky, above the trees. Almost immediately, the sound of gas hissing out of maneuver gear echoed through the forest, the sound of grapples and cables zipping in and out. Then, in a blur, a sixth person in Recon gear appeared from behind a tree to the left and rocketed toward the fake titan, slicing through the pad serving as its weak point with perfect precision.

"Whoa!" Eren exclaimed from his branch. "That was good, she's fast!"

"Wait," Armin interrupted from a branch adjacent to Eren. "Watch the recovery."

As if cued by Armin's words, Sam lost her balance as she tried to bank and turn to slow down, spinning out of control. She crashed into a tree and bounced off, going into another spin.

"Motherfucking shit WHO PUT THAT THERE?!"

Moving quickly as she tumbled, she fired off a cable into a tree, propelling herself forward, then let go, grabbing onto a branch and catapulting herself onto it. She landed shakily and crouched down almost immediately, holding her leg.

Her squadmates stared down at her, silent. Jean was a bit dumbfounded, Armin furrowed his brow in disappointment, Mikasa scowled, Eren was confused, while Levi looked almost concerned. He raised his eyebrows and blinked a couple of times, mulling over what he just witnessed.

"Well, that's not gonna work," he muttered.

"At least that explains how she passed the exam with that injury," Armin said. "She used high scoring hits to even out the deductions from her inability to recover. Though if she'd developed those skills in absence of an injury, she would've qualified for the Military Police easily."

"This isn't good," Jean added, looking over at Armin. "She'll get intercepted if there's more than one Titan nearby, and there's no way she'll survive if she misses-- Captain?!"

Levi, seeming to ignore their babbling, spun off of his branch and began grappling down toward Sam's branch.

"All of you, stay there and refresh your skills," he ordered. "I'm gonna try something."

Jean scoffed, running his hand through his hair, then over his face. He looked back at Armin again, then threw up his hand.

"What is he thinking?" he asked, seemingly rhetorically.

"I have a guess," Armin replied calmly.

"Wait, what?!"

* * *

Sam stood back up, breathing heavily. She stared down at the ground, not making a move to fly back up to join her squadmates. She closed her eyes and sighed.

_I'm surrounded by the elites of the Recon Corps, and there I went and approached from the wrong fucking side, just like during the exam._

A sound of cables interrupted her thoughts, and she glanced over her shoulder just in time to see her Captain land on the branch next to her. She expected him to look disappointed, maybe even angry, but instead he looked... worried. He stared at her for a few moments, taking one of those moments to glance down at her leg.

"You alright?" he asked warily, almost as if he wasn't quite sure what words to use.

"Yeah," she replied with a sigh. "I just fucked up."

"Can you move?"

She side-eyed him, but turned to stare at him fully when she caught his gaze. She blinked for a moment, her eyes a bit wide. She felt a slight chill, as his gaze was unnerving, but so familiar that she felt her heart twinge with a bit of regret.

"Yeah, I can move," she said finally, turning her head away as she spoke.

"Good. Follow me."

Levi spun off the branch, grappling onto a nearby tree. He vaulted into the air quickly, gaining air so rapidly that she barely had time to process what he said before he reached the apex of his arc.

"Excuse me?!" she called after him, gesturing wildly with her blades. "You want ME to follow YOU?!"

"Yeah, now hurry up!" he called back.

Sam grumbled something unsavory under her breath, then hopped off the branch. Her eyes surveyed the nearby trees, planning her route to best catch up with him. Less than a second later, she grappled high onto a tree and vaulted up, quickly, propelling herself forward with the gas. Then she grabbed another tree, swung, then another tree, swung again, and soon she'd gotten within speaking distance of him.

With a whipping motion, Levi abruptly took a sharp turn to the left. She turned as she saw him, letting go with one hook and grappling the nearest tree in that direction with the other. She banked in the turn just in time to notice something a bit strange about the way he leaned into the turn. His weight wasn't centered on the inside leg, but rather seemed to be focused purely on his right hip, as if he didn't want to put weight on his left side.

_Am I seeing things...?_

She shook her head and continued following him through the trees, trying to match him move-for-move the best she could through erratic turns, sudden stops, and sheer speed. Finally, he banked into a sharp right turn, the first right turn he'd taken, and she followed, but ended up doing a wider arc to avoid going into an uncontrolled spin. She picked up speed as she did so, sling-shotting back around so she was even with him when she grappled the next tree.

As she settled next to him in flight, Levi glanced over at her, his eyebrows raised in what looked like a smirk, but without the smile. 

"Good, you can keep up," he said, motioning to the right with a nod.

He banked gently to the right, and Sam followed smoothly, though she winced slightly as her weight shifted to her right leg for a moment. Levi watched as she went into the turn, then glanced back at her hands, still holding the blades from the exercise earlier.

"Hey," he called back, waiting until she looked up toward him before he continued. "You always hold the trigger like that?"

Sam's mouth fell open slightly, and she immediately turned her head to look back at the blade in her right hand, then her left. She held them in a back grip, much like she did with the wooden knife during combat training. As a result, she rested her middle two fingers (instead of her index finger) on the trigger, as to transition back to the standard method of holding it.

"It's only when I have the blades out," she replied, looking back up to him as she spoke. "It's more comfortable that way."

Levi raised his eyebrows, as if contemplating a hidden meaning in her words. He turned his head back to face forward, then grappled down a level to be parallel to his new squad member.

"Good, that makes this easier," he said, then drew his own blades in a backgrip as well.

* * *

A few minutes later found Levi and Sam standing on a branch deeper in the woods. In the distance, a mock titan peeked through the spaces in the trees, slightly obscured by the morning fog. Levi motioned toward it with another nod.

"Here we go," he said calmly, then hopped off the branch. "Just do what I do."

Sam nodded, and watched him as he flew through the trees. He took a wide arc to the right, then sharply banked to the left, picking up speed through the trees. Her eyes barely caught the blur as he came down on the titan figure from the right, and then he disappeared from view. She spotted him again as he landed on a high branch that had clear visibility from where he started to where he landed. He lifted his arm and caught the sunlight on his blade. The signal.

Sam hopped off the branch, arcing to the left instead of the right, following the opposite path that he took. She banked into the sharp turn to the right, and her throat let out an involuntary grunt in pain as her weight shifted automatically to her right leg. She felt the familiar weightlessness of the start of an uncontrolled spin and struggled to keep her balance.

_"As you finish the turn, let go and spin a few times on the momentum, using your good leg to center it."_

She shifted her weight over to her left leg and let go of the tree she'd grappled onto, using the momentum already gained from the arc to twirl. She brought her right leg in a bit to minimize air resistance, and her speed increased.

_"Time it right to grab onto the next object with both hooks, and you'll gain even more momentum."_

Both hooks fired and grabbed onto a high branch as she came out of the spin. She swung on it, not needing the gas to gain more speed as she arced upward. She smirked slightly, enjoying the wind whipping through her cloak and the trees zipping past as she picked up speed. She made a few more minor turns and evasive darts to get around some trees in her way, then vaulted into the clearing with the target. She spun immediately into the turn, coming down from the left like she did in her demonstration. She brought the blades down and through the target, hearing the satisfying shing! as the metal passed through the cloth.

_"Do the same as you come off the attack, but do it quickly since you might not be as far off the ground."_

She shifted her weight again to her left, or tried to at least, but the kinetic energy was too great and pushed her back onto her right leg. Just as she released her hook, her balance failed and the uncontrolled spin began.

"Fuck!"

She tumbled downward, unattached from the trees, the forest spinning around her as she fell. Desperately, she fired a cable toward a branch, timing it just right to grapple it, then caught herself on her left leg. She pressed the trigger for gas and stopped the spin completely, rocketing up toward the branch to land on it.

Levi landed on it soon after, finding Sam holding her leg again and panting from the exertion. He stared at her for a bit, then looked over his shoulder to stare at the sliced decoy. He was silent for a bit, the only sound being Sam's labored breathing. Then he sighed.

"When you recover, let's try again," he said finally.

"What?" Sam replied, surprised.

"Something wrong?"

"No, I mean... yeah, actually. I get the basic concept, but whenever I come from that direction, it's like I'm forced onto my right side."

"I never said it was easy to pull off."

He dropped down into a squat next to her, seemingly just to be on eye-level with her.

"But I know you can do it," he continued, staring out at the decoy again. "Your turn was proof enough of that." 

"I'm pretty sure you're over-estimating me, Captain," she muttered, clenching her teeth.

Levi sighed, standing back up. Sam did the same, though a bit precariously, scared to put any weight on her right leg.

"Just go back to the starting point. I'll reset this wooden thing and we'll try again."

"But--"

"I never expected you to get it right on the first try."

He spun off the branch and flew toward the decoy, leaving Sam to watch him go. She shook her head and sighed, then took off in the opposite direction, back to the starting branch.

* * *

"Dammit, Mikasa!"

Jean's voice echoed through the trees shortly after a shing! of blades passed through a fake titan's neck. The cut out piece flopped through the air clumsily as Mikasa caught herself on the recovery and banked around.

"What?" she asked calmly, staring at Jean with barely an expression.

"I was going to get that one!" he yelled back, banking around on the opposite side.

"It's not my fault you're slow," she replied, flying upward to rejoin the others.

Jean followed, and soon Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and he were flying in formation through the trees. All of them surveyed the area for more wooden titans, but the look on their faces was less than excited. Eren groaned loudly from his position in the center, then pulled out of the formation to vault upward. He leaned back into a backflip, then slid down back into the formation. He sighed, and they continued on.

"They sure have been gone awhile," Jean said as they banked into a turn.

"It's been about two hours," Armin noted, glancing up at the sun rising in the sky. "I wonder if we'll even get any prep work done on the expedition before lunch."

"And this kind of training is boring!" Eren groaned as they came out of the turn. "Especially since I'm in the center of the formation the whole time, so I never get a chance to hit anything."

"I don't think your position in the formation really matters," Jean muttered, glancing over at Mikasa. 

"I'm only trying to protect Eren," Mikasa replied without looking back.

"THEY'RE FAKE TITANS--"

"Guys!" Armin interrupted. "The sky!"

The other three looked up at the sky at the same time to see a flare rising up above the trees, slightly off to the right of their current trajectory. They all pulled back into the formation from where they drifted apart, almost as if on reflex.

"A yellow flare," Eren noted.

"We should probably head over there," Armin suggested.

"Yeah," Jean agreed.

Mikasa led them into the slight turn to head toward the signal, and they disappeared into the trees.

* * *

The four reached the edge of a clearing where Levi stood on a branch with his back to them, his blades reflecting like a spotlight in the late morning sun. Visible through the trees, three mock titans stood in the clearing in a staggered formation. Mikasa landed first in the trees, then Eren and Jean, and finally Armin. As soon as they landed, Levi lifted his flare gun to fire, but was interrupted by Jean.

"Captain, what's going on?" he asked, with a mix of irritation and curiosity in his voice.

"Yeah, we've been flying around for hours," Eren added, exaggerated exhaustion in his voice.

"Are your tanks refilled?" Levi asked nonchalantly, looking over his shoulder.

"We refilled about fifteen minutes ago," Mikasa replied.

"Good," Levi said, then fired the flare, green smoke rising in the sky. "Wouldn't want everyone stranded out here."

"Captain--" Eren started, but a swift movement interrupted him.

A figure spun out of the woods and banked into a turn, then swooped down onto the first titan target in a blur. She spun twice, changed direction, then rocketed up through the second target, spun again, shifted direction, then sliced through the third. She spun a few more times, slowing down, her eyes up on the trees where her new comrades waited. She pulled up and out of the clearing, then drifted down to land on the branch next to Levi. Slightly out of breath, she glanced over at Levi, who looked at her calmly.

"Not bad," he said softly.

"Where the hell did that come from?!" Jean called from a few branches up, causing Levi and Sam to stare up at him at the same time. His face was tinged with red, and it was twisted in such a way that one couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or angry.

"I showed her a few things," Levi replied dryly, then set his gaze on Armin, almost smirking. "Hey, Armin, what was that about fighting with an injury?"

Armin's eyebrows raised, his chin tilting up ever so slightly as he stared down at the two. He then looked over at the mock titans, each with a slice out of their neck targets. He sighed, his gaze hardening.

"Alright, you made your point," Armin said begrudgingly.

"But she was falling through the air just a few hours ago!" Jean protested, gesturing wildly with his blades. "No one can learn that in just a few hours!"

"I didn't."

Jean, as well as Armin, stared down at Sam as she spoke finally, the first words she'd said to them all day. Her eyes were concentrated on the titan targets, her gaze focused.

"Huh?" Jean scoffed. "What the hell does that mean?"

Sam didn't reply, instead returning her gaze up to him. He blinked a few times at meeting the intense stare, thinking she was studying his face for imperfections or something. His face went hot and he turned his head away, finding the branch directly to his left quite interesting in that moment.

"C'mon, everyone," Levi spoke up. "Let's head back to HQ. We have some prep work to do."

Everyone nodded and hopped off their respective branches, flying in the direction of headquarters. Several minutes later, they all emerged in formation from the forest, with Levi at the front and Sam on the right, and Jean next to Armin in the back. They landed roughly simultaneously next to the modified ruined castle that served as their headquarters, and headed inside.

* * *

After removing their maneuver gear, everyone gathered in the mess hall for the preliminary meeting. Mikasa made some tea before everyone arrived, and by the time the rest of them arrived, she was already setting the table with cups of tea for her comrades. Armin, Jean, and Sam entered last, in the middle of a conversation.

"So, you could already do that, right?" Armin asked as they approached the table.

"How could you tell?" Sam asked calmly, as if she already knew the answer.

"The same way Captain Levi did, I think," he replied. "It was when you spun out of control. If a spin like that happened to any of us, we'd most likely hit the ground because we wouldn't expect it, especially at that speed and that close to the ground. But you expected it, right?"

She didn't reply, just simply looked away from him as she sat down at the table. He sat down next to her, ignoring the cup of tea at first. Jean sat down next to him, finding any excuse to not look in Sam's direction, such as being intensely fascinated by the grain of the wood that made up the table. Armin gestured as he continued to speak, staring at Sam with a look of calm fascination.

"You expected it because, and this is just a guess, you got hurt either before or very early in the maneuver gear training. So for three years, your entire experience with maneuvering involved those uncontrolled spins, so you adapted, and developed a flying style that, while not perfect, allowed you to graduate. So, every time you spun out of control, you were able to recover before hitting the ground because you were used to it. All it would've taken were a few slight modifications in your mindset and approach."

"You're right," Sam replied, staring at her own cup. "I feel kind of stupid for not thinking of it in that way, though, since it killed my score."

"Why, because you wanted in the Military Police?" Jean asked, sounding somewhat bitter as he picked up his tea.

"No, because then I could've beaten Tom and rubbed it in his shitty-ass face."

Jean finally looked over at her, his eyes wide in surprise. He almost dropped his tea, setting it down quickly with a clang! that reverberated in the room. Eren, sitting across from the three of them, looked at Sam with curiosity.

"Who's Tom?" Eren asked.

"This smug-ass guy on my Trainee squad," she replied, her tone dry and almost expressionless. "He ranked 10th and went into the MPs, so I probably won't see him again. It just would've been nice to see him shit his pants."

Levi stared at the group with a neutral expression, though his eyebrow twitched a bit, as if from amusement. Sam picked up her cup and took a small sip of it, while Jean and Armin stared at her with raised eyebrows. Eren chuckled nervously.

"I'm guessing you don't like this guy," Eren replied.

"He's ok," she said as she took another sip, her tone neutral. 

"Alright, let's get started," Levi announced, leaning back to rest his arm on the table and his other arm on the back of the chair. "After everyone's finished their drinks and has had a chance to take a shit, we'll meet in the blackboard room and discuss the formation and strategy for taking on the town. For now, I'll explain the plan that Armin and I discussed a few days ago. Armin pointed out that it will be very hard to get into this town unnoticed, since it's crawling with so many Titans that all of us working in tandem couldn't take them out. Instead, we'll approach the town and break formation in pairs, and the middle pair will ride straight through the town to serve as a distraction."

"Sir, doesn't that seem too reckless?" Mikasa pointed out, narrowing her eyes at Levi.

"I'm getting to that. The middle pair will have ten two-liter canisters filled with green gas attached to each of their saddles. When they enter the town, they'll pull the pins on those canisters and create a thick cloud that should provide cover for about two hours. The trick will be jumping off and letting the horses run out of the town without the Titans seeing you escape. Once they're distracted by the horses, that pair will join the others in searching the town for clues."

"Sir?" Eren spoke up.

"What?" Levi responded dryly.

"This sounds like a mission better suited to the Research Team, doesn't it?"

"I thought the same thing at first, but this town is too dangerous to send Hange's team into without knowing what we're looking for. We're going in first to investigate, then when we get out of there we'll report our findings and figure out a plan to clear the way for her squad to do a more thorough investigation."

"Why don't we just clear them out on this mission?" Jean asked.

"It's too dangerous," Armin replied. "Most of the Titans in the town are Abnormals, so we're trying to minimize casualties by not confronting them. That's what the smoke is for, so we don't get seen. If one of us finds something, we don't want to risk them getting killed and lose that information."

"Did you come up with that?" Sam asked suddenly, startling Armin a bit.

"W-well we both did, but--"

"No, it was Armin's idea," Levi corrected. "I just helped iron it out."

"In any case, we have to go out of our way not to fight these Titans," Armin continued. "The other concern is the high number of casualties that happen in the area of this town. That's another reason we can't be seen, because we could risk this entire squad getting wiped out."

Levi took a drink from his cup as Armin spoke, and Sam twitched at his last sentence. She took a drink as well, if only to have something to occupy her hands. She finished it off and set it on the saucer, pushing it away from her reach with the back of one hand.

"Alright, everyone understand that?" Levi asked, watching as everyone did their own variation of a nod. "Good, then let's get to work."

* * *

_A week later_  
  
"Alright, everyone, it's time to go on patrol!" Levi announced.

Outside the stables, his squad sat on their horses, dressed in their uniforms and 3DMG, ready to go. He faced them sideways on his own horse, staring at them each in turn.

"When we reach open ground, we'll break into the formation so everyone gets used to it. So that's Arlert and Kirschstein on the left, Ackerman and Jaeger in the middle, and Garrett and myself on the right."

Everyone nodded. He turned his horse forward, facing away from them, then kicked his boots into its side.

"Alright, move out!"

The squad took off, using most of the day to patrol. During the patrol, they did a few mock-runs of the mission in a dummy town, sans gas canisters, just to get the moves down to avoid mistakes during the day of the mission. They also worked on basic maneuvers using the formation, breaking off at different intervals, changing direction, basically the same thing they'd been doing all week, and would do until the day of the expedition. The exercises were extensive, but were deliberate, mostly to integrate the new member into the group organically without having to force it.

* * *

Around sundown, the squad pulled back into headquarters to clean up and rest for the day. After putting their horses away in the stables and changing into more casual clothes, they each broke off to recuperate in their own way before bed. Sam found herself in the dining hall, a cup of cider in front of her, freshly poured. She sipped at it as she sat silently, weary from a day of hard work in the field. She sank down on the chair, letting her eyes slide closed against the soft light in the room. Her mind started drifting off, settling off into thoughts of a house, her standing on a balcony, while three people conversed in the living area behind her. One in particular was talking loudly, an annoying occurrence any other time, but now she--

_Cre-e-e-ak._

The double doors of the dining hall opened suddenly, shocking her out of her stupor. She made a huffing sound, glaring over at the source of the interruption. Her face softened a bit as she noticed Levi walk through the door. She settled back down on the chair again, but kept her eyes open. She took a sip from the cup as Levi poured himself a cup of juice. He sat down across from her, taking a long sip from his drink, then set his eyes on her as he set the cup down on the table. 

"How're you holding up?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine," she replied calmly, keeping her eyes down.

"You and Armin seem to be getting along."

"That's not saying much, seems like he can get along with anyone."

"Good point."

They sat in silence for a moment, both taking sips from their drinks. If their movements had been synchronized, they would've looked mirrored to each other, each lifting their arms the same way, the same expression on their faces, the same grip on the cup. About half a minute passed, both sitting in silence, though comfortable silence. Neither made a move to speak uselessly, as if the last week had revealed an understanding between the two that mindless chatter wasn't needed, or even desired.

After a bit longer, Levi spoke again.

"I've been meaning to ask you something," he said, a grim tone to his usually-expressionless voice.

Sam looked up at him finally, an intense and curious stare on her face. He returned the stare, and she felt the chill again, still not used to the regretful familiarity.

"What?" she said abruptly, sliding down in her chair just slightly with her arm resting on the table.

"It's about your--"

"Captain Levi!"

Sam and Levi both looked at the open doors to see Eren barge into the room, face heated and excited. Sam narrowed her eyes at him, irritated, and Levi made a similar face, though dryer, like he was used to this kind of thing. Sam sighed and took a drink of her cider, turning her gaze away from Eren.

"What," Levi replied, the word said like a statement.

"I need you to settle something for me! When people die, do they or do they not--?!"

"ARE YOU ASKING LEVI?!" 

Sam coughed suddenly and violently, holding her throat as she tried to expel the gulp of cider that aspirated the wrong way when she jumped from the sudden voice booming in the room. Levi glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow in a question of concern. She held up her hand, waving at him to signal she was all right, continuing to cough. Eren turned around at the voice just as Jean came into the room, face just as flustered.

"Well, you wouldn't fucking agree with me, so I thought I'd get a second opinion!" Eren yelled back.

"It's not my fault you're wrong!" Jean growled, getting in Eren's face and glaring down at him.

"It's not my fault you're an asshole!"

"Now you're just trying to piss me off!"

"Why don't we just ask Captain Levi?!"

"Because I know you're fucking wrong so what's the fucking point?!"

They continued bickering while Sam gave Levi a look of desperation. She mouthed "are they always like this?" and he nodded solemnly, appearing just as annoyed as she felt. She took a long swig of the cider, finishing off what she had left.

"Do I have to flip you like I did when we were Trainees to get you to shut up?!" Eren yelled, shoving Jean away from himself.

"Why don't you try it and see what the fuck happens, you little bitch?!" Jean retorted, shoving him back.

_THUNK!_

Sam slammed her fist down on the table, shaking her cup and creating a sound loud enough to startle the boys out of their argument for a moment. She glared at Eren, clenching her teeth and her fist.

"You're that Titan shifter kid, right?" she asked sharply.

"Yeah," Eren replied shakily, uncertainty in his voice.

"So only cutting off your head kills you, right?"

"Y-Yes..."

"Then, if you two don't fucking shut up, I will reach in your throat and rip out your vocal chords just to have like five fucking minutes for you two to cool off and figure out that whatever the fuck you're arguing about is about as important as whatever you shit out this morning."

"W-what?"

"You heard me."

Sam kept the stare on Eren, who stepped back from the table a bit, apprehensive, but not terrified. She narrowed her eyes at this fact, glancing once at Levi, who stared at her curiously, but expectant, as if he wanted her to go through with it. Jean put his hands up and backed up, his eyes wide, and a tinge of red on his cheeks.

"S-Sam, you wouldn't really..." Jean stammered, but his voice trailed away as her stare remained serious, her muscles tense as if she were ready to pounce.

"He'll heal," she growled, reaching for the cider bottle and pouring herself another cup. 

"So, Eren," Levi spoke up calmly, causing both boys to jump a bit. "What were you going to ask me?"

Eren shook off his apprehension a bit, placing his hands back on the table, though seemingly as far away from both of them as possible.

"Well, you know about--"

"EREN! There you are!"

Sam's other fist hit the table at the sudden voice, sloshing the cider around in her cup almost to the breaching point. All four looked at the door to see Armin in the doorway with a book in one hand, staring at Eren.

"Armin!" Eren said excitedly, then looked at Jean. "Hey, Jean, if Armin disagrees with you, you'll say I'm right, right?!"

"Ugh," Jean groaned, looking over at Armin. "It's a waste of time, Eren, but fucking fine."

"What are you guys talking about?" Armin asked cautiously, holding his book closer to his chest, almost defensively.

"Eren won't accept that he's wrong about what happens to dead bodies," Jean muttered.

"What about dead bodies...?"

"Like, people don't actually piss themselves when they die, do they?" Eren spoke up.

"Excuse me?"

"They actually do, right, Armin?" Jean asked, persuasion in his voice.

"I don't think I'm the best person to answer that--"

"They do," Sam and Levi said in unison, both with their cups halfway to their faces.

Jean and Eren looked back at them, a bit surprised. Armin sighed in relief, clutching the book to his chest.

"They also shit themselves," Levi added, gaining a muffled laugh from Sam behind her drink.

"It's really unsanitary," she added as she brought the cup up to her lips. "Smells really bad, too."

"See, Eren, I told you!" Jean said, playfully smacking him on the arm with the back of his hand. "And you should know, I mean, fuck!"

"Well, at least that explains why death smells a lot like an outhouse," Eren muttered, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Now that that's settled," Levi breathed, looking back over at Sam. "I had a question of my own."

"Right," Sam agreed.

"Wait a minute!" Armin interrupted, walking up to Eren, but then spotted Sam at the table. "Oh, hi, Sam."

"Hey," she grunted.

"Eren," Armin continued, turning back to Eren. "Mikasa's looking for you... again."

"I just passed her in the hallway!" Eren responded breathlessly.

Jean grabbed a cup from a table against the wall and sat down next to Sam at the table, then pointed at the cider. He gave her a questioning look, and she stared at him for a moment, a long moment, then handed him the bottle. He poured a drink as Armin and Eren continued talking, a mildly surprised expression on his face.

"Well, apparently, she didn't see you because she sent me on an errand to find you!" Armin continued, gesturing wildly with the book.

"Ugh, can't she just find me herself?" Eren replied in exasperation.

"I don't pretend to understand everything she does."

"Well, you're smart, I thought you had her figured out when we were five."

"I didn't even know her when we were five! Actually, come to think of it... neither did you."

"You know what I mean, Armin!"

Eyes wide, Sam glanced from Jean to Levi a few times, as if trying to find an answer to this madness written on their faces. Levi shrugged in response, while Jean leaned over toward her ear to whisper something. Before he could speak, however, she abruptly leaned back and put her arm up sideways, contacting his chest and stopping him from getting closer. 

"What?" he coughed, his chest straining against her arm.

"Don't do that," she muttered, looking away from him.

"Do what?"

"Suddenly get that close to me. I almost broke your nose."

"Oh, sorry."

Jean pulled himself away a safe distance, leaning over his drink instead. Sam relaxed a bit, settling back into a normal sitting position with her hand resting near her cup.

"Now... what?" she asked.

"I was just going to tell you that they've been friends since they were really young," he replied, taking a drink. "So, their fighting doesn't really mean anything."

"I figured that," she muttered in response. "I know these two people who are childhood friends, too."

Levi glanced at her when she said that, but didn't interject. He set his attention back on Armin and Eren, then spoke up.

"Hey," he said, interrupting their conversation. "Where's Mikasa right now?"

"Oh," Armin said, almost surprised. "I think she was heading upstairs."

"Eren," Mikasa's voice breathed from the doorway.

"Mi-KASA?!" Eren screeched, almost jumping out of his skin.

Jean jumped, too, almost spilling his drink all over himself, while Levi and Sam simply stared dryly at the door. Armin sighed in relief again, backing away from Eren and walking over to the table. He sat down on the other side of Sam from Jean so that she was in between them, putting his book down on the table. Mikasa approached Eren, reaching out to grab his arm. She started to drag him out the door, but he resisted and cried out in protest.

"What are you doing?" he yelped.

"I want to show you something," she said calmly.

"Show me what?"

"It's upstairs."

"Upstairs where?!"

"Under my bed."

"What?!"

Mikasa succeeded in dragging him out the door, and their voices faded into echoes in the hallway. Sam put her head in her hands, running them down her face as she lifted it up to look helplessly at Levi. He just shrugged again, waving his hand in the air as if to dismiss the strange behavior in the room as normal. A hand landed on Sam's shoulder and she jumped, bringing up her elbow and stopping it just inches from Armin's face.

"Whoa, man," Jean warned, holding up his hand. "Careful."

"I'm used to it by now," Armin replied calmly, and indeed he hadn't flinched at all. He waited for her to lower her arm before continuing. "I know this all may seem a little weird and shell-shocking, but everyone was trying to be on their best behavior in the past week with a new person around. This squad hasn't taken on a new member in about three years, so I think everyone was just a little on edge."

"You could say that about me, too," she growled, regret coloring her voice.

"Relax on your own time," he continued, rubbing her shoulder reassuringly. "But everyone acting like this is proof they're at least somewhat comfortable around you, so it'll be okay for you to do the same thing. Y'know, like you do with me and Levi."

"I find it kind of hilarious you think I'm relaxed around you," she scoffed.

"Aren't I right, though?" he asked, almost worried.

"Yeah," she replied. "That's why it's kind of funny."

She took a swig of cider, a long swig, enough to start feeling a bit of warmth in her cheeks. If she wasn't relaxed before, she was certainly there now. She slouched in her seat some more, resting her arm on the back of it. She let her hand brush Jean's shoulder as she did so, causing him to glance over at her curiously.

"What?" he asked reflexively.

"Nothing," she said. "Just wondering what the fuck I got myself into."

"I can understand that. I mean, Eren is... well, Eren, and Mikasa's not that easy to deal with all the time, either."

"Although," Armin added, "you have to admit that it's pretty entertaining to watch."

"Yeah."

"You fit in here, Sam," Levi said suddenly, gaining a stare from the other three. "As you can see now, everyone's just as normal as you are, which basically just means we're not. The Survey Corps isn't for normal people, anyway. Those fucks belong in the Garrison staring at cannons all day."

Jean and Armin chuckled, and Sam even smirked a little bit. She finished the rest of that cup of cider, then set the cup down on the table.

"Ok, ok, I get it, you all have a point," she said, putting her hands up. The movement shifted her shirt collar a bit, revealing a chain on her neck.

"Hey," Armin murmured. "What's that?"

"What's what?" Sam asked casually, giving him a sideways glance.

"Guys, that's not--" Levi started, but was interrupted.

"Is that a chain?" Jean asked, reaching toward her neck.

"Jean, no--"

Too late. Jean's hand had just barely brushed her collar, but she reacted as if he had touched the chain for real. She leapt up from her chair, at least a bit shakily from all the alcohol, and pulled Jean out of his chair by his shirt collar. She glared down into his face, almost snarling as his eyes widened, mostly from being startled.

"Do you have a deathwish, Jean?" she growled.

"Sam, stop..." Armin whined, pawing at her arm.

"You should know better, Jean," Levi said dryly. 

"Sorry, it was shiny," Jean stammered.

"You like shiny shit?" Sam snarled, pulling him up closer to her face.

"Now you've done it," Levi commented, a note of amusement in his calm voice.

"Sam, please," Armin whined, hanging onto her arm.

"Listen to Armin," Jean pleaded, putting up his hands. "And please don't kill me."

"Yeah, just kiss him," Levi muttered, the note of amusement still there.

Jean's eyes widened, moving to stare at Levi with a horrified and desperate gaze.

"Captain!" he screeched.

"Look how close she is to your face."

"This isn't funny!"

"Maybe not to you."

"Just put him down, Sam," Armin pleaded.

"No," she spat, though the viciousness had left her voice.

* * *

The night went on. Sam didn't kill Jean, and the four of them talked into the early morning hours. They eventually retired to bed, and as Sam crawled under the covers in her own room, she felt a bit lighter than she had in several years. She played with the chain around her neck, her hand wrapped around the pendant, and closed her eyes.

_I think this is okay... Yeah... I'm fine with this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite part of this chapter was probably writing the 104th kids bickering. That was great.


	6. A Way to Remember: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Special Operations squad bonds during drills while part of Sam's past is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some reason this chapter was sitting as a draft for months. Sorry about that.

_A month after joining the squad_  
  
The morning mist hung amongst the trees in the Special Operations Squad training grounds. Two figures swung through the trees, parallel to each other, darting between the silhouettes of the tree trunks. Eren flew to the right, seeming to rocket forward on pure willpower alone, while Jean flew to his left, his movements borne more of talent than his companion's. They both kept stern faces, searching the trees ahead and to the sides for a target.

"Wanna make a bet, Eren?" Jean spoke up, a savage mock in his voice.

"On what, Jean?" Eren asked in reply, the same tone in his own voice.

Jean perked up a bit, staring ahead. A mock titan, obscured slightly by fog, peaked through the trees. He grinned and squeezed the trigger on his maneuver gear to pick up more speed.

"First one to hit it gets to tap Mikasa!" he called back as he zoomed forward and away from Eren.

"W-wait, WHAT?!" Eren screamed after him, mirroring the movement to speed up.

Jean cackled maniacally as he swung up higher in the trees, gaining air and speed as Eren strove to catch up below him. They raced, darting from tree to tree at different intervals, the sharp swipp-swipp of the cables the only sounds between them now. Soon they reached the clearing, Jean out ahead, and he pulled his arms back in preparation to swing.

"YES I can finally tap that ass--" 

A sudden movement and sound of cables cut him off. He let out a huffing sound of surprise as a blur rocketed past the Titan from below and disappeared from view. The only evidence the blur left behind was a clean cut from the target's neck, the removed piece falling ungracefully to the ground. Jean turned his head sharply to the right to see a figure spin several times into a slow swing facing him, a knowing smirk on their face.

"SAM!" he screeched, trying and failing to hide the dumbfounded redness on his face. "Okay, but I get to watch!"

"Sorry," Sam shrugged calmly, turning to swing up toward the trees. "And by the way..."

She tilted her head back toward him, a playful glint in her usually-serious eyes. Jean had landed on a branch while her back was turned, trying to use the shade to hide the ridiculous look on his face.

"I'm not tapping Mikasa, no matter how much you beg."

Jean blushed even more, mostly from surprise, and that pink blush turned pure crimson when a muffled chuckle came from somewhere in the trees above him. He spun around quickly, as if to challenge the laughter itself, only to huff again in surprise at the sight of the other black-haired girl of their group trying to hide her amusement in the branches above him. He glowered at her, turning his face away as it somehow got hotter.

"You find this amusing, Mikasa?" he called up rhetorically, a pout on his face.

"Not really," she replied, a strange stuttering in her voice from trying to hide the out-of-place giggling.

"Oh, really?"

"I find it hilarious."

This time Eren's laughter echoed obnoxiously from a branch adjacent to Jean's, and Jean glanced over to see his squadmate doubled over in laughter. He snarled and turned, walking toward Eren's branch with determination. He hopped onto it and brought his arm back and swung, jabbing his elbow firmly into Eren's ribcage.

"O-o-OW!" Eren shrieked, stumbling sideways on the branch for a few steps before he found his footing again. "Fuck, Jean! Take the joke!"

Jean glared at him, flipping his blades in his hands to sheath them into the metal sleeves on his hips. He marched forward and grabbed Eren's collar, picking him up a bit off the branch.

"How about you take my FOOT up your--"

"Guys, look!" Armin's voice interrupted frantically.

Jean and Eren both looked up at him where he had landed, a branch or two below Mikasa. The blond boy pointed toward the sky, and the two followed his gesture to see a yellow flare rising up into the late-morning light. Jean huffed again and dropped Eren back onto the branch, gathering the triggers into his hands soon after. Eren rubbed his neck, staring up curiously at the sky.

"Is it time for lunch already?" he asked sheepishly toward Armin, only gaining a shrug in return.

"Lunch or not, he's calling for a break," Sam said as she landed on the branch next to Armin's perch.

"Let's go, then," Jean muttered as he hopped off of his own branch.

The group of five soared off into the trees in their new formation: Jean in front, Sam and Armin on opposite sides of Eren, and Mikasa bringing up the rear.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later found the group gathered near the outdoor picnic tables placed on the grounds of their practice field. Mikasa and Eren sat across from each other, Mikasa eating in silence while Eren chattered about the upcoming expedition and what secrets it could hold. Armin and Jean sat on the tabletop of the other table, chatting in equal amounts about everything from the new recruits, to the recent research breakthroughs from Hange, to pondering which of the stoic-faced trio would win in a fight. Sam and Levi, meanwhile, chose to stand off to the side, both leaning against the wooden fence that lined the break area, part of the corral for their horses to rest as they did the same.

Sam drank from her cup, hot coffee steaming and warming her face. She held a piece of bread in her other hand, periodically lifting it to her face and ripping off a modest chunk with her teeth. Levi ate his own lunch beside her, tea and a crude sandwich made of bread and vegetables, the latter of which he had finished a few minutes before. They dined in silence, both staring out at their squadmates and the horizon beyond them, pensive.

"They've really taken to you," Levi said suddenly, as if voicing the second half of a sentence that started in his head.

"Who?" Sam asked, taking another bite of bread.

"Armin and Jean, mostly," he shrugged, sipping from his tea. "But they all seem to have accepted you as part of the group."

"You seem surprised," she muttered dryly as she, too, sipped her drink.

"You're right, but it's for a good reason."

"I get it, they're all really close-knit friends. It's hard to break into that."

"Not just that. They were all in the same Trainee Corps together. The 104th, to be exact."

Sam's eyes widened and she turned her head to look at him in the face. Her face turned serious as he met her stare with a glance of his own.

"You mean...?" she asked cautiously, narrowing her eyes with each word and breath.

"They were in Trost the day it was attacked," he said, completing her unspoken sentence.

Sam's face darkened, the light dimming from her eyes a bit as her gaze left Levi's face and concentrated on the ground past his boots. She stopped chewing the piece of bread that was still lodged between her teeth, instead choosing to just swallow it half-chewed. Otherwise, she stood motionless, staring blindly at the same spot on the ground.  
Levi took another sip of his tea, taking the silence as normal. A nagging knot twisted in his chest, however, as the lack of movement and complete silence from his subordinate was uncharacteristic and unnerving. He glanced over at her sideways to see her unblinking stare, a slight twitching of her lower lashline the only movement he could detect outside of her quick and almost panicked breathing.

"Hey," he breathed, taking his cup away from his face.

She didn't move. He lifted an eyebrow slightly, leaning his head to the side a bit, as to get a better look at her expression.

"Hey," he repeated, a bit louder. "Garrett."

She still didn't move. He couldn't quite see her eyes to judge what she was staring so intently at, and when he tried to follow her gaze to the ground, all he found was a typical patch of dirt. When he turned back, her head had tilted down slightly, causing him to sigh in frustration.

"Shit," he muttered, setting his drink down onto one of the fence supports.

He relaxed his muscles, just in case he needed to duck or vacate the immediate area quickly, then turned toward her fully. He leaned one arm against the fence, mostly for insurance leverage, and tried one more time.

"Hey..." he said softly, a slight growl in his voice.

She moved a bit this time, but it was only to tilt her face down and away from him more. He grunted in frustration; he'd had enough. He reached toward her, leaning a bit more against the fence on his arm, just in case.

"Sam," he growled, grabbing her face and turning it roughly to face him.

His muscles recoiled as he detected hers tense, but, to his surprise, she didn't lash out at him. She did, however, swing her arm up to firmly push down against his chest, thankfully just to keep him out of her personal space. Her eyes wide, she stared at him in pure shock, slow blinks interrupting the stare.

"What," she asked in her usual deadpan tone, though the shakiness was more than obvious.

"You were making a weird face and you stopped talking," he breathed, feeling himself straining against her arm. "It was creepy."

"Okay..." she replied, her erratic breathing slowing down. "But you didn't have to grab my face."

"You wouldn't answer me," he growled.

Her eyes widened slightly, then quickly hardened into a mixture of a glare and something that Levi couldn't immediately identify. From this distance, he could clearly see the peculiar trait her eyes had, flecks of green and brown blending in different combinations based on the way the light hit them, or, seemingly, by how pissed off she was. The darkened hue was, by his guess, a good indication that she wasn't in the greatest spirits toward him at the moment, or probably just a trick of the light.

"Levi," she said sternly, staring at him with the same sentiment as the tone in her voice.

_She doesn't sound pissed..._

He found himself leaning so hard against her arm that he had to shift his weight, unknowingly shifting from his right leg to place everything completely on his left. Big mistake. He let out a pained grunt and lost his balance for a split second, letting go of her face in an attempt to catch himself, only to see a slosh of black liquid fly past him and downward. At the same time, a hand caught his forearm to steady him, and the arm that had been pressed against his chest had shifted, so that a hand was supporting his chest to keep him upright. His face had turned slightly away from her, but judging from the breath he felt on his cheek, he didn't have to look to know that the whole "personal space" business had gone out the window.

"You alright?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Yeah," he replied just as cautiously. "Your coffee went everywhere."

"I don't care."

They stood like that for a few moments, Levi staring at the ground, and Sam, presumably, staring at nothing but his hair. She let out a strange-sounding breath, causing him to turn his head slightly to face her out of curiosity. His suspicions were confirmed; she was extremely close to his face, and he was somehow hyper-aware of this fact. He had never seen her face this close before; they had an unspoken policy of personal space in common, an invisible bubble of sorts that they respected equally. Well, they did, until just a few moments ago. 

Her gaze was at the ground where her coffee cup landed, seemingly unaware of the awkward tension hanging between them. Her face was calm and stoic, not much different than usual; although, she could've felt just as flustered as he did, and just didn't want to show it on her face. He sure didn't want to, not when she was so close she would be able to basically feel the heat radiate off of it.

"So..." she said suddenly, turning her eyes toward him.

"Hm?" he breathed, broken out of his thoughts.

"You gonna clean that up?" she asked, nodding at the cup on the ground. "Or do you want me to?"

"I'll get it."

Neither of them made a move, though it was unclear to him whether she was waiting for him to move first. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to move; he felt frozen in place, haphazardly leaning on his bad leg, using her arms for support, while she seemed just as stuck, counterbalancing her own weak leg shakily with the opposite one. She ended up shifting her weight a bit, causing her head to move slightly forward, and he tried to lean back, but due to the inch or two she had on him, it did the opposite of what he planned. Her surprised stare caught his own, and for some reason he couldn't look away, and she seemingly couldn't, either. Her face was just so damn close, and--

"H-Hey!" Eren interrupted abruptly, an excited smile on his face. "Sam!"

That was enough. Both Sam and Levi turned their heads to look at Eren bounding almost like a puppy over to them, identical irritated stares on their faces. Levi then quickly shifted his weight back to normal and Sam backed away from him with just as much haste, recoiling on her heels. She leaned back against the fence with her arms on the top rung, while Levi took a similar pose after picking up his tea again. Eren reached them soon after, seemingly unaware of the prior events.

"What," she asked dryly, her face taking on her characteristic scowl.

"Is it true you were in a street gang in Trost?!" Eren asked excitedly.

She stared at him for a moment, her expression never changing as his smile seemed to get wider and wider. She crossed her arms, adjusting her stance against the fence a bit, then settled back again. She started tapping the toe of her boot against the dirt under the bottom rung of the fence. Levi kept his eyes over at her, his stare almost curious, but expectant. 

"I wouldn't call it a gang," she muttered in reply finally. "But I did live on the streets there for awhile."

"Did you ever kill anyone?"

She blinked at him, the scowl turning into a glare. She kept tapping her boot, a clear sign of her irritation.

"...excuse me?"

Eren shrugged, but took a small step back. He rubbed the back of his head, glancing back toward the the picnic tables.

"Well, Jean told me there used to be a lot of murders there, so did you, uh... do some of them?" he asked nervously.

Sam followed his gaze toward the tables, seeing Armin and Mikasa at the same table now, both staring toward Eren. Armin was making some strange gesture toward them with his hands, as if telling Eren to keep going.

"Did Armin put you up to this?" she sighed in exasperation, leaning her head back to look toward the sky.

"N-No," Eren stammered, turning back to look toward her. "He just told me a bit about it."

"Remind me to kick his ass later," she muttered, irritated.

She leaned her head to the side slightly, eying Levi. He stared back, his eyebrows raised, as if expecting a story of bloodshed, or for her to lash out at Eren, or perhaps for her to just tell the boy off. It was a bit hard to tell at this point, since his expression had a strange twist to it at the moment. He looked almost embarrassed, and she couldn't help but laugh silently at the possibility.

"Well..." Eren said cautiously. "Did you kill someone?"

"Yeah, did you?" Levi seconded, sipping from his drink. 

Sam narrowed her eyes, first at Levi, who had that strange amusement note in his voice, and then at Eren, who was too obnoxious for his own good right now. She shifted her weight against the fence again, choosing to tap her hand against her arm instead of her boot against the ground.

"You really wanna know?" she asked, exasperated.

Eren simply nodded excitedly.

"If I did," she replied, her voice low in a growl. "It was probably because some cheeky kid was talking too much, so I took my knife and ripped his tongue out so he couldn't talk anymore."

She made a swift movement with her hand, flipping her pocket knife out of her harness and catching it in a frontgrip. She pointed it at Eren, almost relaxed, her eyebrows raised.

"I could demonstrate, if you like."

Eren threw his hands up, a nervous smile on his face.

"So, that's a yes?" he asked shakily.

"It will be if you keep fucking asking about Trost."

"What's going on over here?" Jean asked suddenly. "I heard someone mention Trost."

Sam's eyes hit the newcomer standing just behind Eren, narrowing them more. Jean's gaze locked onto the knife, staring intently, almost challenging the light reflecting off the blade. She almost shivered, a feeling of deja vu shocking her out of her hostility. She folded the knife back into its hilt with a flick of her wrist, placing it back into the belts on her hip with the same motion.

"Nothing, Jean," she replied, turning her face away from him, as usual.

"Sam was in a--" Eren started, but Levi stopped him by planting a hand firmly over his mouth.

"Have you finished your lunch, Kirschstein?" Levi asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, and Armin ditched me to talk to Mikasa, so I thought I'd see what was so interesting over here," Jean growled, obviously irritated.

He walked over beside Sam, leaning back against the wood with his arms draped over the top rung. Eren broke away from Levi's grasp with a bit of a struggle, almost tripping over the coffee cup that had fallen to the ground moments before. Levi stared down at it for a second, then stood up away from the fence. He started walking toward the entrance to the corral, which was on the other side of Jean. He looked at Eren as he passed, a tired glare on his face.

"Pick that up and be ready to go in five minutes," he growled, pointing down at the cup on the ground.

Levi then walked away, entering the corral and heading for his horse toward the back of the pen.

"Yes, Captain," Eren said just loud enough for the man to hear him, then leaned down quickly to pick up the cup.

He started to walk away, but glanced in Sam's direction once. He lingered a bit, as if thinking, then scurried away toward the table where Armin and Mikasa sat. Sam stared after him, slightly confused, tapping her boot on the ground again.

"The fuck was that about?" she asked, though the question wasn't really aimed at anyone in particular.

Jean simply grunted in reply, tapping her shoulder once with his arm. She glared at him in response, though he met her cold look with a bored stare of his own.

"You don't need to threaten Eren like that," he muttered.

"I don't see a reason not to," she replied, crossing her arms again.

"Look, I know he's a pain in the ass, but he's not a bad person."

Sam sighed, leaning her head back again to look up at the sky. Wispy clouds wafted past above them, making the blue sky look almost white.

"I realize that," she breathed, relaxing against the fence more. "I just don't warm up to people easily, okay?"

"Well, duh, I knew that," he muttered. "But a knife?"

"It was a reflex."

"That's a strange reflex for a new recruit to have."

"Maybe the training changed since you graduated."

"They'd never make the combat training THAT insane."

"Oh, but they did. We even went out and fought real Titans, it was really hardcore."

"What?" Jean jumped a bit, almost losing his balance. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, totally," she smirked, staring at him with that same playful stare from before. "We also taught them how to read, and we took turns shitting in their mouths."

Jean stared at her for a few seconds, his eyes narrowed, his mouth pulling together in a vague pout. He smacked her shoulder lightly, turning his face away as she let out some noise that could only be called a laugh.

"I hate you," he muttered, pouting more.

"Yeah, okay," she replied.

As soon as she spoke, a green flare erupted from the corral, signaling the end of their lunchbreak, and the time for them to return to the field to train.


	7. A Way to Remember: Part 4

_The next morning_  
  
A cloudy dawn bathed the Special Operations Headquarters in a grey and blue haze, though that was impossible to see from the windowless dining hall within the castle walls. Sam sat reclined in her chair out of uniform, her boots up on the table, the shadow of dark circles under her eyes. She sipped from the cup in her hand, the smell of the coffee filling the room with an energizing scent, enough to perhaps perk up one of the others if they came through the door, however unlikely that would be.

_Swa-thunk!_

The coffee sloshed dangerously in her cup as she jumped, a bit startled. Her eyes glared at the door, a fighting light burning in her eyes for the would-be intruder. The expression softened almost immediately, however, and she relaxed back into the chair, drinking out of her cup again.

"Hey, Captain," she said calmly.

Levi didn't reply, or even move from the door; he simply stood, glaring somewhat in her direction. His eyes appeared sunken, almost pained, and his entire body looked tense. She met his gaze for a second, then immediately looked away. She took another sip of her coffee and tried to relax a bit more, but that unnerving glare brought on an uncomfortable feeling of deja vu.

"You're up early," he said finally, a nasty undertone in his words.

"So are you," she replied casually, taking another drink of her coffee to finish it off.

He crossed the room quickly, so quickly she didn't notice he was beside the table until she put the cup down onto the saucer. She turned her head up to look at him and met his gaze, which looked a lot creepier up close.

"We're heading out," he growled, turning to walk back toward the door.

Sam blinked a couple of times, finally noticing the Wings of Freedom emblazoned on his back; he was in uniform. She spun her legs off of the table, sitting up fully and placing her palms flat on the table.

"What?" she asked in reflex.

He stopped and turned toward her slightly, just enough to see her over his shoulder. His expression had intensified, causing apprehension to rise in her chest.

"We're heading out," he repeated, the same tone coating his voice. "Come on."

"Now?" she asked, twisting her face in such a way as if to understand his motives better.

"Yes, go get your gear and meet me by your horse. Now."

He turned away again and started walking toward the door. Sam stood then, taking a few quick steps to catch up within about three feet of him.

"But the others aren't even up yet," she said hurriedly. "And it's an off day, anyway."

"I don't care," he growled in reply.

"But, Captain, we--"

"I. Don't. Care!"

Sam slammed her foot back quickly just as Levi's face came dangerously close to breaking her personal space, just like he had (accidentally) done yesterday. She breathed heavily as he glared into her eyes, her arms halfway into a defensive stance, hovering just above her hips. His eyes weren't entirely angry, and there was something about the way he was staring that was both comforting and unsettling.

"Levi?" she breathed shakily, her voice soft. "What's wrong?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, his grey gaze searching her face, as if for imperfections. She clenched her jaw defensively, avoiding the familiarity in that particular expression. The seconds passed so agonizingly slow as neither of them moved, the tension rising around both of them so strongly that it was almost visible. Finally, Levi broke the silence.

"Someone I know just died," he breathed, turning around to face the door again. 

A beat passed, Sam's eyes softening a bit, though her face remained eerily calm. The nature of the job and this world, it was to be expected, but the pain was always the same. And that pain was even worse in unusual circumstances, and in times when closure is impossible.

"When?" she asked solemnly.

"I don't know."

She approached him cautiously, coming within an arms length of him before he spoke again.

"Now, come on, I'll explain on the way."

He walked out the door into the hallway, and Sam followed closely behind him. He stared straight ahead as she came up beside him, both heading in the same direction. 

"I just need to get the fuck out of this building and fly somewhere," he muttered, irritated.

"I understand," she replied knowingly, her own stare straight ahead.

He glanced at her once, blinked, then looked forward again. They walked in silence, breaking off at the stairs to the living quarters when Sam ran upstairs to grab her uniform and maneuver gear. She felt Levi's eyes on her back as she climbed upwards, until she was out of sight after rounding the first landing.

* * *

Within a half hour, Levi and Sam were on their horses and riding out into the fields. In the distance, a mockup of a typical rural town lay in their path. Sam glanced at Levi, concentrating on his face. His usually neutral expression stared ahead at the town, almost as if the grief had left his expression, or, more likely, he had pushed it away.

"Captain...?" Sam started carefully.

"Hm?" he hummed in reply, without so much as a glance in her direction.

"Why are we heading to the town?"

"I have another training regimen for you."

"But I haven't fallen off the cables since the first day."

"I know, this isn't about that. This is about turning you into an asset."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see. Pull up here."

They stopped their horses just shy of the town's entrance and hopped off. After securing them to trees placed there primarily for that purpose, they both approached the closest building. Levi turned to Sam, taking the cable triggers into his hands. She returned the stare, confusion shown clearly through her eyes.

"Out run me," Levi said plainly.

"W-What?!" Sam retorted, her eyes wide with disbelief. "Are you fucking with me?!"

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, you've been acting a bit strange this morning, so it wouldn't surprise me."

"Look, just do it. I'll even give you a headstart."

"You're telling me to try to out run you. You're expecting me to out run humanity's strongest soldier, is that what you're saying?"

"Something like that."

_Is he just wanting to blow off steam...?_

"Okay..." Sam said reluctantly.

She took her own triggers in her hands and shot toward the nearby building, using it to swing upward into an arc. She gained speed by using the gas, releasing the grappling hook to sail over the building, accelerating rapidly.

_Out run you, huh..._

She heard a second whoosh of gas from behind her, and in response she dropped immediately down between the buildings. She grappled left and right, pulling herself forward, a gas trail behind her growing longer as she picked up speed. A sound behind her alerted her to cables dangerously close and she spun sharply to the left, darting into an alley of sorts. She spun again, this time to the right, using her new spin technique to execute the turn. She then grappled onto the next building, banking into another turn, when an impact knocked most of the wind from her chest. The hook ripped out of the wall and she fell, the extra weight taking her down faster. 

She landed hard, her shoulder rolling to absorb the impact as she herself rolled across the stone alley street. A hand wrapped firmly around her throat and shoved her down onto the ground onto her back, so she faced the sky. She took in a sharp breath, her chest heaving from the violent fall, the world around her blurred slightly from disorientation.

"You're dead."

Levi's voice came out in a low growl, his figure coming into focus as her eyes readjusted to not spinning. He knelt over her on one knee, one hand holding her by the throat, the other clutching the trigger of his 3DMG. He stared down at her, his grey eyes so intense that she couldn't tell if he was just griefstricken or angry with her in particular.

"What are you... talking about?" Sam coughed, straining against the hand at her throat.

"A Titan got you, so now you're dead," he restated coldly.

"You mean you tackled me out of the air because you're faster than me."

"Shut up."

He squeezed the hand on her throat slightly, causing her to wheeze. She brought up her left hand and grabbed his forearm, then tried to do the same with her right, but it wouldn't move; a weight held it against the stone. Using just one hand, she struggled to pull his arm away, but it wouldn't budge.

"C-Captain," she choked out, just barely getting enough air to speak.

He continued to stare down at her, as if expecting something to appear or occur in front of him. He tilted his head slightly, his eyebrows squeezing farther together as his glare grew more dangerous. 

"I could very easily kill you right now," he snarled. 

Sam coughed in response, a strange noise that sounded much like a growl. She gritted her teeth and struggled against the weight on her right arm a bit more. His weight shifted a bit and a pain shot up her arm in response. His knee must be holding it down.

"You would die, right here in this alley. Everything you've fought for over the past three years, everything you've promised since he died, and everything you've done to prepare for the mission, will all come to nothing."

She stopped struggling for a moment, her eyes wide. His stare turned darker, morphing into a challenging glare.

"You can master every technique, you can be the strongest and most seasoned soldier in the Corps, and yet you can still be obliterated into a bitter memory with the smallest misjudgment, with the most minor of mistakes. That's what happened to them, that's what happened to Squad Leader Garrett, and that's what will happen to you."

Her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe, staring at him with a mixture of anger, shock, and regret. Her right arm started going numb, and she knew too well that she wouldn't be able to rip his hand away from her throat with one arm. Levi leaned down a bit more, close enough so she could feel his breath on her face as he spoke.

"It will happen to you, Sam, because you're not doing what I told you to do on your first day. You've gone through the drills, you've memorized the plan for the mission, and you've utilized your training appropriately, but that's not enough. That's not why I used my own time to hone your skills, and that's not why I potentially wasted the squad's time by bringing in a fresh face. I didn't do this just to have you die uselessly on the first mission."

His grip tightened further, and she felt her air supply stop almost entirely. She choked on a breath, the strength in her left arm fading.

"If you want to live through this, then fight me. I've disabled you to the point where you have only one choice of weapon: your pain. Don't use your memories, they're too distracting and bring up unnecessary feelings. That's what your mistake was. I know you're feeling the pain now, I can see it. So, use it."

She gritted her teeth further, gasping for air. She struggled to free her arm, but it was pinned securely against the ground. Her eyes stared up at him, glaring and narrowed.

"I... can't..." she coughed.

"Then you've already decided to die."

Her eyes widened again, staring up into his glare. She couldn't feel her right arm anymore. 

"You've let the pain sap your will to live. Living on the streets and surviving isn't for pussies, and if you still had that same fire in you from back then, you'd already be on your feet. But when he died, you let that part of you burn out with him, didn't you?"

She didn't respond.

"I won't have that, not on my team. You are the only one I've ever taken in who experienced the type of pain you're feeling right now, and I'll be damned if I don't make you use it to your advantage. I don't want you to fight for him, I want you to fight with him, with the weapon he left you. So, use your weapon and fight me..."

He tightened his grip to cut off her air completely.

"Or die without repaying your debt."

Sam froze, just as an image of a man on horseback disappearing into the distance flashed into her mind, his green cloak billowing in the wind. They were common enough, these thoughts and images interrupting her reality. Sometimes she couldn't function or focus properly because of the grief, since she didn't move on, and didn't want to move on, because that would defeat the purpose of why she was wearing the uniform. Otherwise, she just would have--

_No._

She clenched her jaw, her frightened eyes hardening into a fierce glare. 

_I'm not going to throw everything away by giving up._

Her pulse raced under Levi's grip on her throat, adrenaline pumping through her veins to drive the remaining oxygen to her muscles. The stabbing pressure in her chest released, spreading out as energy and power, numbing the chronic pain in her leg, and the new pain in her throat.

_That's not good enough._

Her hand released his forearm and she braced her arm against his from underneath. Going into a shoulder stand, she brought her legs up and around his torso and grappled around his waist. She then used the momentum and twisted her hips sharply to the left, pulling him up off the ground just enough to release her other arm. She brought it up to his hand at her throat, but his free hand grabbed her wrist and pinned it roughly back onto the ground above her head, just as he landed back into a squat above her.

"Sam, I know you're angry," he growled, staring down into her glare with a bloodthirsty glare of his own. "Now, take your anger, and forge it into strength."

She opened her jaw to try to take in a breath, but nothing happened. Her chest burned and ached, but it wasn't distracting; it was motivation. She clenched her jaw back together, then rolled sharply onto her shoulders. Her knees swung up to hit his arms and knock them away, but he brought his own shoulders inward so they swung past. With a brisk movement, she grappled her legs around his shoulders, linking her boots around the back of his head. She used the momentum to somersault backward, using his weight to slam him into the ground on his back. Following the movement, she brought her knee down into his stomach, causing his grip on her arm and throat to weaken just enough to pull herself away.

Coughing, she stumbled backward onto her feet, standing over him. She panted heavily, then drew one of her blades swiftly. She pointed it down at her Captain, who lay on his back on the ground, the wind knocked out of him this time. She glared, death dancing in her eyes, the blade a mere inch from Levi's throat.

"Now I can easily kill you," she growled, her gaze wild.

Levi stared up at her from the ground, seeing her at the end of the blade as his chest heaved. His cold stare softened very slightly, and he let out a dejected sigh.

"Not bad," he muttered breathlessly. 

"Don't 'not bad' me, you tried to kill me," she snarled back.

Levi didn't respond, just simply stared up at her. The stare looked familiar, but she couldn't quite place it, not with her blade positioned for a kill. The scene itself felt familiar, but not in the same way as the look on his face. Facing down someone in an alleyway, escaping from death with bruises and cuts, a knife in one hand, blood on her arm and torso. But the face was different, and for some reason she couldn't bring her arm to move because of it, because the fear in his eyes wasn't the same.

_"Do you hate me?"_

The adrenaline surge subsided just enough to let through a memory. Images from his office just after she arrived at the barracks, including the expression on his face as he said those words. She let out a hissing breath through clenched teeth, then lowered her blade away from him.

"Shit..." she breathed, her teeth clenching into a pained snarl.

She sheathed the blade, then did the same with the triggers, and turned, walking away a short distance from him. Her chest heaved as she struggled to calm her breathing. She brought her hands up, palms facing her face, and watched as they shook for a few moments, before she clenched them into fists. She heard a movement behind her, then slow and careful footsteps approaching.

"I get it," she said suddenly.

The footsteps stopped.

"The others all have their own quality that sets them apart. Jean has an inherent talent for the gear and is a natural leader. Armin is smart as fuck and always knows the best course of action to do things. Eren can shift into a Titan and has the strongest will I've ever seen. And Mikasa is a natural Titan killer and has the skills to match. So, this pain and the method to use it is mine. I was being reckless and not caring about my own safety, but that's stupid, and how I..."

Her hand passed over her upper abdomen for a moment, then her upper arm on the left side, and she sighed. She turned back around at that point, facing Levi finally. He was a bit closer than she anticipated, about an arm's length away, his hand raised a bit. His stare was neutral, and he seemed to be waiting for her to finish speaking.

"I got so caught up in my own shit that I'd forgotten what's most important for group survival, and that's keeping myself safe so that I can assist and protect my comrades."

Levi lowered his hand, but raised his eyebrows slightly. He stepped forward to close the distance between them, at least up to where it was a comfortable distance for both of them.

"So, you know what you have to do?" he asked finally.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Good."

He turned his head up slightly, staring at the sky.

"We've still got a bit of time before the others will be awake."

He took the cable triggers in his hands again, then turned his head to look over at Sam again. He held his stare on hers for a few long moments, reading her expression and body language, noticing it much more relaxed and natural than that first day in his office. He couldn't help but also notice that the trick of the light or something had changed her eye color again, a weird quirk of hazel eyes he just wasn't used to witnessing first-hand. His thoughts wandered back unwillingly to the day prior, when he witnessed a similar change in her eyes, but under completely different circumstances, when the light was completely different.

"You want me to try the same thing again?" Sam asked suddenly, breaking through his thoughts.

"Yeah," he replied, blinking a few times to get those images out of his head. "This time, head back toward the horses."

"Okay."

She took off, flying back on a similar route she took before, and he followed, relieved that his words made the impact that they were meant to, instead of what he expected them to do.

* * *

They arrived back at the barracks at approximately seven in the morning, the hour spent training allowing the sun to rise from the horizon. Levi led his horse into its stable, glancing over at Sam as she did the same in the neighboring stable. She had already removed the saddle and blankets, which hung nearby, and approached her horse to remove the rest. He sighed and exited his horse's enclosure, then stopped by hers, approaching the gate.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you something," he spoke up, causing her to turn her head toward him as she began removing the bridle.

"What is it?" she asked, as if on reflex.

He leaned forward against the fence on his elbows, a somehow curious stare on his face.

"Before we left headquarters, those people you were standing with..."

Sam kept removing the bridle, yet turned her head away from him. She slipped one strap out of its buckle, the one that held the bridle to the larger portion of her horse's head.

"What about them?" she asked casually.

"Who were they?"

She paused for a moment, hands gripping the other straps firmly. She stared up at her horse sternly, who only whinnied at her in annoyance of the contraption still being on his face. She pulled the bridle off then, smoothly, then turned slightly to speak, but not enough to face Levi directly.

"William and Sakura," she said, playing with the loose bridle strap in her hands. "They're close friends of mine. Actually, it was William's idea to join the Corps in the first place."

Levi sighed, his suspicions confirmed. He turned his gaze away from her for a moment, staring out of the stables at the growing light of the morning.

"I figured as much," he muttered.

He heard her feet shuffle slightly in the straw on the floor of the enclosure, and he turned his eyes just enough to see her facing him fully. Her hands were empty, her arms crossed against her chest. He turned his gaze back to the outside light.

"What does that mean?" she asked sternly.

"Does he also have a really non-violent approach to things?" he asked in reply, ignoring the question.

Sam blinked in reply and disbelief, tapping the toe of her boot nervously on the straw a couple of times.

"Yeah, he does, and he always gets pissed off whenever I get into fights."

"But he keeps you level-headed, right?"

Silence overtook the stables for a moment, and Levi made no move to break it. Memories of his time before the Corps invaded his thoughts and thinking process, an event mirroring what happened when he greeted his new subordinate outside the interview room back at headquarters. For reasons he couldn't quite explain, the scene stuck with him: a plucky girl with freely-expressed emotions, a much taller boy with a calming demeanor, and a fierce woman with a reluctant role as leader, or perhaps mother or older sister, if the younger girl's behavior had been any indication. Perhaps he could explain it, but to make that comparison would be sentencing those two to death.

"Captain..."

"What," he replied dryly.

Peculiar, her voice always had this knack for breaking him out of bittersweet thoughts and memories. He turned his head fully to look toward her, and her posture had relaxed a bit. Arms at her sides, that stern expression turned to one of almost concern, or maybe it was pity, or some form of curiosity. Either way, he couldn't quite identify it for certain.

"Do you know someone like that?" she asked, caution in her voice.

"What about the other one, does she have a simple yet positive outlook on life, with a feisty temper?"

"Yeah, but--"

"And she's really attached to you?"

Sam let out a breath in a huff and stepped forward a few paces, approaching Levi's position just outside her horse's enclosure. She stopped just at the fence, facing him from the side where he kept staring out of the stables, leaning on one hand against the top rung.

"Okay, either you've met them before, or you know people who are just like them. Which is it?"

Levi stared at her calmly, suddenly aware that her hand was dangerously close to where his arms lay crossed against the fence as he leaned on it.

"Look, all you need to know is that, sometime in the future, you're going to have to make a choice. The consequences of that choice will put those two in danger, and you'll have to decide whether to trust someone else with their safety, or take on that burden yourself. And whatever you do end up choosing, I hope for your sake that it's the right one."

Her expression shifted slightly as he spoke, though not of the anticipation and apprehension he expected from predicting an ill outcome for her close friends. In fact, he'd never seen her make this particular expression before: it was gentle and sympathetic, in a strangely familiar way. So familiar, in fact, that he had to turn his face away from hers, instead choosing to stare toward her horse eating from its trough on the other side of the enclosure.

"Levi..." she breathed.

He felt her lean a bit closer, his eyes turning toward her to look at her from the side. Pity, that expression was pity, and not condescending pity. He'd been too obvious and free with his words, and now she figured it out. He sighed and relaxed down onto his arms a bit more, shifting his gaze to the floor of the enclosure.

"Yeah, I did know two people just like them once, a long time ago. And they died because I made the wrong choice, and when I realized I'd chosen wrong, it was too late." 

He stood up a bit straighter, unfolding his arms to instead stagger them flat on the gate, his left in front of his right. He rapped his knuckles gently against the wood, slowly bringing his gaze back up to meet hers. The sympathy remained, and it wasn't any easier to stomach.

"I just don't wanna see that happen again," he breathed, turning away again.

Sam sighed gently, tapping her boot against the straw again. She turned a bit, facing the interior corridor of the stables where Levi stood. She leaned on her forearms against the fence, careful to keep at least an inch between her arm and his.

"Well," she muttered, her tone rough, but calm. "I can't make any promises."

"I know that," he replied. "But I can warn you of what's possible."

"I appreciate it." 

She stared over at him for a moment, in thought. He stared back, studying her expression, trying to infer what she was thinking about. He didn't get time to figure it out, however, since she bumped his arm with hers gently as she spoke up once more.

"And I appreciate you knocking me back to my senses."

Levi sighed shakily, in a way that, even to himself, sounded a bit like a chuckle. Apparently she thought so, too, since she turned her head to give him a strange look as the sound came out of his mouth. He turned away, staring at the floor of the enclosure again.

"I wasn't even certain it was going to work," he said sheepishly, his voice low.

"That just means you chose right this time," she murmured, her hand breaching his personal space to pat his arm lightly.

He turned his head toward her sharply, taken aback. He stared at her again, for a few long moments, her expression mirroring what could only be his own look of both disbelief and gratefulness. She smiled then, a rare thing her face did only in times when she was fucking around or when either Armin or himself made some kind of distasteful joke. 

"We should probably head inside," she breathed, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze.

She pulled her hand away from his arm as she stepped away from the fence, but his own hand decided to move on its own. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her from moving away.

"What?" she spat, meeting his gaze fully.

He stared at her for a moment, his brain trying to process as to why he decided to grab her arm. He noticed something in her gaze, something off-putting, then his gaze shifted slightly down, catching sight of something discolored on her neck. 

"Nothing," he muttered, releasing his grip on her wrist immediately.

She blinked at him once, seemingly confused, but then shrugged. She took another half-step back and then vaulted on her hands over the fence separating her horse's quarters from the rest of the stables. As she dropped down, he couldn't help but notice the unusual way she jumped the fence, instead of using the gate like he half-expected her to do.

He raised an eyebrow at this, staring at her curiously. Her eyes caught his perplexed gaze, and she shrugged in response.

"Sorry, force of habit," she muttered.

"What the fuck kind of habit is that?" he asked, feeling slightly amused.

"One that involved a lot of jumping over shit."

"So, you were running away a lot?"

"You could say that."

"I guess without the maneuver gear, you had to use a different method to get around."

"Why would I have maneuver gear?"

Levi merely shrugged, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the fence. She did the same, both staring outside of the stables as the slowly-rising sun bathed everything in a warm glow. They stood in silence for awhile, enjoying each other's company as usual, the need to speak uselessly non-existent between them. Sam yawned, the coffee buzz having worn off slightly. Levi turned his head toward her in response, and she glanced toward him as well, noticing his eyes not on her face.

"What?" she spat, her hand still up toward her face from the yawn.

He didn't respond at first, staring down at her neck, his eyes narrowed. Red marks, clearly in the shape of his own hand, stood out against the pale white skin on her throat, contrasted even more by her dark shirt and green cloak. He let out a troubled sigh, looking away from the evidence to stare down at the ground.

"What is it?" she asked more sternly, crossing her arms again.

"I chose wrong," he muttered in reply.

"What are you talking about?"

"This," he growled, motioning toward her neck, his fingers brushing the skin by accident. "I never should have taken it so far."

She raised an eyebrow, visibly confused.

"You and I both know that it was the only thing that would've worked," she replied. "So as far as I'm concerned, you chose right."

"That doesn't matter, I let losing him get the best of me."

She stared at him, concerned and somewhat perplexed. She opened her mouth to speak, then stopped herself, only letting out a small breath. She clamped her jaw shut, gritting her teeth as she averted her gaze. He glanced toward her, eyebrows raised, taking her silence as understanding. He sighed, then stood up from the fence, turning his back to her.

"Let's head back," he muttered, then walked toward the exit.

She stared at him as he started to leave, then let out a sigh of her own. She stood from the fence and followed, catching up within a few seconds to walk beside him. They walked toward the main building, silent, him staring somewhat toward the ground while she stared off to the side. Once they entered and walked down the corridor to reach the stairs, he stopped in his tracks, causing her to stop as well.

"What?" she asked.

He didn't respond again, at least not right away, staring down at the floor just in front of the stairs. He then turned his head slightly, just enough to see her out of the corner of his eye.

"Do you hate me?" he asked warily.

She blinked a couple of times, taken aback.

"For what?" she asked in reply.

His eyes caught the marks on her neck again, something she noticed immediately.

"Oh, that," she muttered, her hand reaching for her neck on reflex. "I understand why you did it, so no, I don't hate you."

"You sure about that? I could've killed you."

"I don't care about that, I know you were just knocking me back to my senses, and you were upset about your friend, so you did what you had to do so you wouldn't lose me, too."

His eyes widened slightly, and he turned his face away, an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. He stared off to the side, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Don't say it like if you did the same thing you wouldn't be standing here expecting me to hate you."

She stared at him, eyes narrowed. She sighed loudly and crossed her arms, placing one foot up on the first step. She stared down at it, her breathing even, remembering images, bloodstained images, and lives that were cut short by her hand.

"You're right, I would expect that," she breathed. "I've done some regretful things, and sometimes they were done with good intentions in mind, yet I still beat myself up about them. That's why I have no reason to hate you, because I know exactly what you're going through right now."

He let his face soften more, and once again one of his hands moved seemingly on its own. He reached up to brush the hair out of her eyes, just to see it fall back down. She turned her face toward him, eyebrow raised. She flinched a bit as his hand traveled down to rest against the side of her neck, covering most of the slowly-fading marks from his regretful decision so he wouldn't see them.

"I guess that's enough to accept," he said softly, turning his gaze away.

He stared up the stairs, silent, his hand still resting against her neck. She made no move to remove it, finding the warmth somehow comforting as her mind raced with uncomfortable memories, which she guessed he experienced as well moments ago. And she was right.  
But now, other thoughts barged their way into his mind, the cause of this silence. He let out a sigh, then succumbed to them for a moment, shifting his hand on her neck just slightly to rest against the back of it.

"Actually..." he breathed after a long pause, his voice trailing off.

"What?" she responded, moving her gaze back toward him.

He turned his face downward, staring at the stairs.

"Nothing."

"No, what were you gonna say?"

He turned his eyes to stare at her from the side, that uncomfortable feeling moving into his chest.

"I'm just trying to figure out if I'd regret something right now, or if I'd regret not doing it."

She turned her gaze toward the ground, shifting her weight anxiously.

"That makes two of us," she admitted.

He raised an eyebrow, turning his face toward her fully.

"I thought I was imagining it," he breathed.

"No, but I.. I'm just..."

She grasped at something under her cloak, something that Levi guessed must be that pendant she kept hidden under her clothes. It was related to something to do with her painful memories, and the ones he knew in particular caused him to sigh and turn his gaze away again.

"It's okay," he said softly.

She turned her face back toward him, hand grabbing his cloak to turn him back to face her.

"No, it's not," she growled, her eyes narrowing as she shifted her eyes toward the ground. "Because there's a promise I made, and I feel like I can't fulfill it."

"If you do it?" he asked in reply.

She stared at him sternly.

"No. It's if I don't."

His eyes widened slightly, staring at her eyes as the truth of her words hit him. Memories of a conversation invaded his thoughts, something he guessed was mirrored in her own thoughts as well. 

"I understand," he breathed softly. "I made a similar promise."

"Really?"

"Yeah. That's why..."

He ran his hand across the marks on her throat one more time, then let it fall to his side. He stepped away from her and started up the stairs, or tried to, but the hand holding his cloak didn't release like he expected. He paused and stared back at her, meeting an expression of knowing and acceptance. He blinked once, then turned back toward her fully with a staggered stance, setting his gaze to reflect what he saw in hers.

"Are you sure?" he asked, letting his concern coat his voice.

She didn't respond, not for a few moments at least. She kept his gaze, unmoving except for the occasional blink. It wasn't until he narrowed his eyes slightly that she finally relaxed, that expectant mask he spied the day prior taking over her expression.

"Yeah," she replied with a nod.

She released his cloak and he turned away, then they both made their way up the stairs, their billowing cloaks disappearing around the landing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this little subplot between them started as a joke while I was talking to Isamu about Drunk!Sam moments and blowjobs, and he ended up making it canon (and forcing me to write most of the relevant chapters).
> 
> Major implications ahead (and smut~).
> 
> ~Sam


	8. A Way to Remember: Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Just shameless smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isamu wrote the sexy bits of this chapter, and I only wrote the scene at the end, which was originally the ending to the previous chapter.  
> This is also the last chapter that was already completed previously, so the updates will be weekly or bi-weekly for awhile.  
> ~Sam

Sam and Levi walked up the stairs and turned to walk into Levi’s room. Sam looked around and wasn’t at all shocked to find that the room was completely spotless. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think that he’d had the whole squad clean just this one room, but she knew him better than that. The only person to clean his room was himself because, no too differently from her, he didn’t like people touching his stuff. Levi motioned toward the bed, which was set up right next to the wall.

“You can have a seat and get comfortable on the bed over there,” he said.

He closed the door behind him as Sam walked over to the bed and sat down. She took off the cloak and jacket and laid them on the end of the bedpost.

Levi walked over and sat next to her as he took off his cloak and jacket as well. Sam watched with a glaring dry look as he took the time to fold his cloak, then do the same with his jacket, and place them neatly on the bed. Sam leaned back and sighed, leaning her hands on the bed and looking up towards the ceiling with her eyes closed.

“Really? We’re about to have sex and you take the time to fold your clothes beforehand?”

Levi looked up at her with a bit of sincerity.

“Look… Sam… Are you sure about this?”

Sam sighed a bit.

“Yeah. I already told you I have a promise to fulfill.”

He put his hand on her leg.

“What I’m asking… Is if you’re ready to fulfill that promise yet.”

Sam opened her eyes just slightly to the ceiling and gritted her teeth as she clenched her hands on the bed. Levi continued.

“What I mean is, and I say this with all respect, don’t do this just because of that promise; you should do it for you as well.”

Sam took a moment to think. She then blinked slowly and got a genuinely caring and somewhat relieved look on her face, as she let out a big breath through her nose and her grip softened on the sheets.

“Yeah… I’m ready…”

Levi looked at her looking up, and he smiled ever so slightly because he knew she wasn’t the only one he was talking to.

Levi leaned in closer to her and caressed the side of her face with his other hand. She blushed just slightly as she felt him touch her cheek and she looked towards him. He leaned his face in closer.

“I just wanted to make sure. After all, I’ve been told I’m very rough.”

Sam smirked at the comment a bit as she kept her head steady, staring into his eyes with a confident look.

“I know you’re you, Levi, but trust me, I can handle anything you can dish out.”

Levi leaned in even closer to where his lips were almost touching hers.

“Funny, I was gonna say the same thing to you.”

Sam’s smirk grew bigger and more devious, as just before the kiss connected, she pushed his neatly folded clothes on the floor. He looked at her with an unamused look at first, then she started chuckling a bit. Levi then cracked a smile, and on this rare occasion, he let out a laugh as well. They smiled at each other as their lips finally met.

It started out as just soft slow kisses, but soon, Levi wrapped one of his hands around her back and the other he placed on the back of her head. She had done the same thing, only except for wrapping her arm around him, she put it up under his arm long ways against his back, and with the hand that was placed behind his head, she gripped his hair slightly. Their kiss grew more intense, and they could both tell that they were going to have to fight for dominance this morning. Sam was used to doing that through her previous marriage, Levi wasn’t used to this at all. Although he found himself thinking that it’s definitely something he could get used to. And so, the battle for dominance began.

Levi put one of his hands underneath her, and put the other one underneath her arm. Before she could retaliate and get a better position back on him, he lifted her up partway off the bed, and her back slammed against the wall that the bed was pushed up towards, and as she hit the wall, she made an audible grunt. She let him have the lead… for now, as he scooted up to her and lifted her onto his lap. They both stared into each other’s eyes with pure lust and they breathed heavily, as Levi moved Sam’s hair out of her face and gave her a smug smile. Sam gave a somewhat smarmy look back.

“Not bad… for a little shit,” she teased.

Levi scoffed at the remark, as he was determined to overpower her by the end of the night. After all, he made a personal rule that the sex wasn’t good enough for his partner unless they had no choice but to sleep in way later than they normally would due to pure exhaustion. Or, in this case, have to take a long nap afterwards.

He leaned in and started his first dominant moment of the evening by giving her a forceful and energetic kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck. As they made out, Levi worked on the chest buckle of Sam’s harness. He knew that this is one thing in particular he could do much better than she could. He unbuckled it with ease as they broke away from the kiss so that she could slip her arms out of the top half of the harness. He then moved his mouth down to Sam’s neck as he began sucking and gently biting on it, while he worked on the waist buckle of Sam’s harness. She leaned her neck up and Levi mocked her in between kisses.

“I hope you don’t mind… if I leave more marks here~.”

Sam gave a single quiet laugh and thought to herself, _Oh no, see you don’t win this easily._

Just as Levi had finished unbuckling the harness around her waist and was about to take it off, Sam put her hands on Levi’s shoulders and pushed him down onto the bed, as she fell over top of him. Levi, scoffed as Sam smirked over top of him.

“You let your guard down, Levi.”

Sam leaned down closer with her hair hanging in his face as she took her hands off of him that were pinning him to the bed.

“Now it’s my turn.”

She started off by taking his cravat from his neck and throwing it across the room as she kissed him. He backed away from this kiss for a moment,

“Hey, easy with that, it’s hard as hell to clean.”

She kept kissing him and started to work on the chest buckle on his harness. She spoke in between the kiss with a breathy voice.

“Shut up, pansy-ass.”

Levi scoffed at the remark and grabbed her head to deepen the kiss.

It had been a good minute now and Sam was getting irritated. She made audible grunts into the kiss as she kept trying to get the harness undone.

“Mmm… Rrrr…”

Levi leaned back with a smug face.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

Sam sat up and pulled Levi up by his belt buckle, shaking it, and him in the process, furiously.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH THIS THING?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT?!”

He laughed a little and leaned back with one arm behind his head.

“Well, if you can’t handle a little buckle, I suppose I could take over.”

Sam squinted her eyes at him, as she actually got a bit riled up by his comment, but that’s what he was hoping. Sam leaned back.

“Ohhhhhohohoho no, fuck that.”

Levi thought for a second by her remark that maybe he had taunted her a bit too much to actually drive her off. After all, he definitely didn’t want to do anything to ruin this, or worse, offend her. But his worries were replaced with curiosity when he saw her reaching into the nightstand drawer.

“Where is it…" she growled. "I know you have one in here…”

He kept the confused look on his face until he heard her celebrate.

“AHA! GOT YOU BITCH!”

Levi’s eyes widened a bit as he saw her pull out a knife he had snuck in there from the kitchen, in case he ever needed a weapon to defend himself with in his room that was easily accessible. Levi started to sit up a little.

“Uh… Sam, that’s a little-”

Before he knew it, Sam pushed him back down onto the bed, pushing her forearm against his throat. She obviously wasn’t going to do anything except tease him with the knife; she would never actually cut him, and they both knew that. Sam ran the blade down his chest as she leaned in with a devious smile,

“So… you think I can’t handle a buckle, huh?”

Before he could respond, she slid the knife in between his harness and his chest, and cut the chest belt of the harness. Levi realized his mistake in letting her tease him with a knife, is that as long as she had it in hand, both of them knew that it was too dangerous to switch positions, and that’s exactly what Sam was counting on. Right now, she was in full control, and she damn-well knew it.

Being dominated this much was also something he was new to. Levi couldn’t lie to himself though, this was surprisingly really turning him on. Sam carefully took the knife and rubbed the side of it against the bulge in the front of his pants. He let out a single pleasurable exhale, which he tried to disguise as a scoff. Sam smiled down at him with a devilish, seductive look. 

"Well, I guess I’ll have to use it to get this buckle off to. Or do you like this too much? Well, which one is it, bitch~?”

Levi smirked back with an excited look.

“Just cut it off already,” he replied.

He was thrilled at the thought of not only having sex, but fighting someone while having sex. The thought aroused him to no end. Sam put the knife in between the belt and his waist, and with one swift motion, she swiped the knife upwards and the belt snapped.

She leaned over and put the knife on the nightstand. Levi realized this was his time to try and take control again, but she would be expecting that right now. He needed to be tactful. He needed to wait for the right moment. Sam put both her hands on his chest.

“Well, I know I don’t need the knife for this.”

She then put both of her hands on either side of the collar of his shirt, and with all her strength, she pulled them apart and every button came flying off as his muscle toned chest and tight abs were exposed. Sam made a slight gulp of hunger at the sight of him, and she leaned down and attacked his collarbone with her mouth. Levi reached down and grabbed Sam’s ass as he made a breathy sound. Suddenly, he felt a sharp. Sam bit down on his collarbone very hard, and Levi let out a gasp and gritted his teeth, as he groaned in both immense pleasure and pain. Sam kept on biting and Levi brought on of his hands up to her hair and gripped tightly. He wasn’t pulling her away, but he needed something that he could squeeze with his entire fist. Sam flinched a bit from the pain of her hair being slightly pulled by this. After a few more moments, she sat up, breathing heavily. Levi put the back of his hand over his forehead as he felt where she had bitten pulsing on his collarbone.

Sam spoke up, “There, now you can stop feeling bad… about giving me… this damn neck bruise.”

Levi looked at her for a bit and chuckled.

“Sam, stand up for a bit.”

Sam looked at him curiously.

“What for?”

Levi leaned over and grabbed the knife from the nightstand.

“I need to be very precise with what I’m gonna do with this~.”

Sam looked even more curiously now as she got off of him and stood up. Levi stood in front of her with the knife.

“Okay… don’t move,” he said.

She was still very curious about what he was going to do with it, but she had to admit, the curiosity was a little bit of a turn-on too. Levi placed the blade at the top of her shirt very carefully, and the moment she realized what he was doing, she gasped a bit as he swiped downward with the knife, completely ripping her shirt wide open. Her heart skipped a beat for a moment and she let out a deep exhale. She didn’t know why, but having a dangerous weapon that close to her, held by someone who she truly trusted, had just sent her over the edge.

Levi put the knife down and moved the sides of her shirt aside ever so gently with the back of his hand. His eyes looked up and Sam met his gaze. They stared at each other with unbearable lust, and the room was dead silent. In fact, each one of them didn’t know if they were hearing the other person’s heartbeat… or their own.

Something then triggered in both of them. At the same exact time, they dashed into each other and grabbed each other’s heads, and they started making out more intimately and much more rough than any of the previous times. Levi started walking forward and Sam followed his lead as she stepped back. Levi brought his hand up to the shoulders of Sam’s shirt and pulled it down in one quick violent motion so that the collar of the shirt was now at her elbows, and her breasts were fully exposed. Sam moved her hands to his shirt as well, pulling it down his arms, and Levi hastily swiveled his arms out of the shirt and threw it across the room. All the while, they were still participating in the intimate kiss that had started it all.

Levi put his hands on her ass, and she understood. They broke the kiss for just a moment so that Sam could jump up slightly, wrapping her legs around Levi’s waist, as he was now carrying her. Their session continued until Levi kept walking and once again, slammed her back into the wall behind him. While Sam did grunt and it hurt a little, she didn’t mind one bit. She was loving every moment of this, and so was he.

As soon as her back hit the wall and she made that audible grunt, Levi brought his mouth down to her tits and started roughly playing with them. Sam let herself be held up by him, her back occasionally getting slammed into the wall behind her, and she had her hands entangled in Levi’s hair as she let out breaths of pleasure towards the ceiling. Levi brought his mouth down to her left nipple as he started to bite on it a bit. He pulled his mouth back as his teeth closed around it, and brought his mouth back toward her body.

“Anh~… Fuck!~”

Sam pulled Levi’s hair roughly, making him also make a barely audible noise of pleasure.

Levi then moved his attention to her right breast, and he started sucking on the top of it. Sam was hit with a jolt that was ten percent pain and ninety percent pleasure, when Levi started to bite down hard on her right breast. Sam gasped and tighten the grip of her legs around his waist. This time, her moan became louder, and she spoke in a breathy tone once more.

“Little… fuckin’ shit!”

He continued to bite her breasts, sucking on them harshly so he was sure that he would cover her chest in hickeys. After a few minutes of that, Sam dropped her legs to the ground and pushed him away. Levi stumbled back a bit, and as soon as he regained his balance, Sam practically ran up and dropped to her knees in front of him. Without any hesitation, because she had already cut his belt, she pulled down his pants aggressively, along with his underwear, and grabbed a hold of his eight inch cock. Levi leaned down as he stepped out of his pants, and Sam started pumping his dick quickly as they kissed again.

Once Levi had kicked his pants away, Sam broke the kiss and violently started bobbing her head up and down on his member. Levi leaned his head back with a deep pleasurable exhale as Sam continued to blow him. Each time she thrusted her head forward, she took in about half of his length before having to come back. Levi placed his hands on her head and gripped her hair a little, but still letting her be in control.

Sam was a bit surprised when Levi suddenly started to suddenly thrust into her mouth on his own. He grabbed her head and tested the waters with one slow thrust where he plunged all eight inches down her throat, but when he heard her gag, he knew that was too much for her to handle. So he then started thrusting in a little bit more than half, and it seemed like that was the happy medium. Once he knew how far he could go, he grabbed both sides of Sam’s head and started fucking her mouth. After a minute or so of that, Sam pulled back, leaving a stream of saliva on his dick. She looked up at him and smiled a little while she stroked his still salivated cock while she leaned her head down and sucked on his balls a little. Levi grunted, and he knew he had to stop her before the force of the handjob made him cum.

He caught her by surprise as Levi grabbed her shoulders and pushed her down onto the floor. He laid on top of her as they made out for a short bit, then he knelt down between her legs. Her belt was also undone, and so Sam lifted her waist so he could easily pull her pants off. Sam panted a bit from the anticipation as Levi leaned in with his mouth and grabbed the hem of her panties with his teeth. He leaned back and slowly peeled the panties down her legs. Once they were far enough down, he let go of them and Sam kicked them off, leaving her only wearing the torn shirt. Levi leaned down and started rubbing Sam’s entrance fast and hard. Sam’s breath quickened and she let out a couple audible moans.

Sam’s eyes shot open along with her mouth, and she quickly started biting her lip when she felt his tongue drag along the entire length of her slit. Levi had started kissing and licking Sam’s pussy, as she entangled her fingers in his hair. He shoved his head farther forward and his tongue plunged into her pussy. She moaned somewhat loudly at the feeling, and he felt her hands pushing his face into her even more. Levi kept working his tongue on her slit, wriggling it around while it was inside of her. Sam couldn’t help but to respond to this. “Holy… fuck Levi!~ Anh shit!” Levi took this as a sign that he was doing a good job, and he started to work his mouth on her clit. Sam’s audible pleasure continued to invade the room, and she tightened her legs around his head. Just like he had to stop her before, she knew she wasn’t far away from finishing now. She unwrapped her legs from around his head, and instead grabbed the sides of his head with her hands. She brought his face up to hers and they began to make out once more.

Levi then helped Sam up, and they both stumbled over to the bed as he fell on top of her. Levi knew that he had just gotten her plenty wet enough, so he positioned the head of his dick right at her entrance and slowly started to thrust it into her. She gritted her teeth, and breathed very heavily as she felt his whole length start to enter her. It had been so long since she had last had sex that the feeling was overwhelming. She couldn’t help but respond to the pleasure.

“Anh, fuck! Oh my… god that’s good.”

Levi started to thrust his cock in and out of Sam’s pussy, and he put his right hand on her throat. He kept thrusting hard and fast.

“Anh… shit…” he spoke in a very breathy and raspy voice as he continued to fuck her.

Levi then grabbed her waist and lifted her up, as he sat down and lowered her onto his cock. Sam grabbed a hold of Levi’s shoulders and leaned down and kissed him as she raised and lowered her hips, bouncing on and taking in his whole length. Levi wrapped his hands around her, and broke away from the kiss so he could once again pleasure her tits with his mouth. In response, this made Sam bounce even faster on his dick, and eventually start moving too fast for him to be able to steadily get his mouth around her breast. Sam then wrapped her own arms around him as he grabbed her hips and thrusted hard into her. She moaned out in pleasure as she dragged her nails across his back, making him wince in pain a little, but the pain only turned him on more. Sam gripped his skin hard with her nails as he continued to fuck her senseless.

She eventually put her hands behind her to help keep her up, and she started to once again raise and lower her hips onto him herself. Levi saw this as an opportunity. Levi reached around and grabbed the part of the shirt sleeves that fell off of her arms already, and he wrapped each of them around her arms in separate directions. Sam would’ve wondered what he was doing, but at this point, she honestly didn’t care. All she wanted was to keep fucking him. He caught the two ends of the sleeves, when they came back around in one fist, and Sam had just realized what he had done. Levi had just used her torn up shirt to tie up her hands.

Once he had done this, he pulled her off of his dick and laid her flat on her stomach. He positioned his dick at her entrance again, and started viciously thrusting into her as he held together her tied up hands. He then put the other hand on her ass, so that he could keep a steady pace, and so he was able to go faster. Sam was nearly face down into the pillow as she kept moaning.

“Just… anh~… Just keep…. Fucking me…”

Levi was happy to comply as he took the hand that was on her ass, and he used it to push the side of her face into the pillow. He leaned down, having to slow his pace a little in the process, and started breathing near her ear, licking it occasionally. He then moved his head down a little more and started biting the back and sides of her neck extremely hard. She moaned so loudly, that Levi was a bit afraid the others would hear her. But he didn’t care, he just kept going, because he knew that they were both close to finishing.  
Sam turned her head towards him.

“Let… Let me ride you.”

Levi nodded and complied as he let go of her tied up hands and pulled his cock out of her. She sat up, through her shirt completely off and across the room, and nearly attacked him as she kissed him, making him fall on his back onto the bed. She positioned him, at first too hastily so that it wasn’t positioned correctly, but she figured it was the home stretch, so she would let something slip to get him more riled up and ready to cum.

As she started sliding his cock back inside of her, she said, just barely loud enough for him to hear, “C’mon, put it back inside me again.”

He groaned at the immense pleasure as she slid his entire length inside of her and started swaying her hips back and forth. He put his hands on her hips, and she put his hands on his chest as she started bouncing up and down on his dick with as much force as she could muster. She leaned down and pressed her tits against his chest as he grabbed her ass and started viciously thrusting up into her. She once again bit his neck so hard that it left huge teeth marks.

After a few minutes of that, she rode him like normal again, and he muttered out through the pleasurable exhales, “Sam… I’m gonna cum…”

Hearing these words, and being so close herself, she just rode him even faster.

“It’s… okay… Go ahead, just fucking… do it… just cum!”

Hearing this, he grabbed her hips and started thrusting up into her as fast and hard as possible, as he felt her cum on his cock, and felt the inside of her pussy tighten around him. That sent him over the edge, and he pushed her all the way down one last time as he came inside her.

Both of them were frozen by pleasure in their orgasms for a moment, until they subsided and Sam collapsed on top of him, out of breath. Levi’s chest was heaving, and Sam slowly removed herself from his dick. As he did, some of his cum ended up spilling out of her pussy. Sam laid next to him, and they just stared at each other for a moment, and then they both looked up at the ceiling. The silence was broken when Levi suddenly spoke.

“I’ll uh… I’ll get something to clean this up with.”

Levi swung his hips around and got out of the bed, heading towards the cabinet with his cleaning supplies. Sam just laid there on her back panting, looking up at the ceiling. She smiled and closed her eyes as she grabbed the ring around her neck.

She thought to herself, _“… I fulfilled our promise… but no one will ever be as good as you were…_

* * *

 _Two hours later_  
  
The morning still young, the familiar sounds of the Special Operations Squad waking up for the day filling the air. Armin and Jean ate breakfast in the dining hall, casual conversation filling the space.

"How'd you sleep?" Armin asked.

"Better than usual," Jean replied. "It was nice to get a couple extra hours."

"I agree."

"Maybe _she_ won't be as grumpy this morning."

Armin stared at him for a second, then chuckled.

"Depends on which 'she' you're talking about."

They both laughed, continuing to dine in peace. Armin took a drink from his cup, glancing around the dining hall. He put the cup down and stared over at the door, visibly confused. Jean blinked at him and swallowed the bite of food he was working on, clearing his throat to speak.

"Hey," he said. "What's wrong with you?"

Armin continued to stare at the door, his hand wrapped around his cup.

"Isn't it weird for the Captain to sleep so late?" Armin asked.

Jean raised an eyebrow, then took another bite of food.

"Maybe he wanted to sleep in like the rest of us."

"Maybe..."

Armin went back to eating as well, and the conversation turned idle again. After a few minutes, the door opened.

"Cap--" Armin started, then stared dryly at the door. "Oh... Hi, Eren."

Eren and Mikasa walked into the dining hall, Eren with a slightly offended expression on his face.

"What the hell, Armin?" he scoffed. "It's like you're disappointed to see me!"

"No," Armin groaned, returning to eating. "I just thought you might've been the Captain."

"He's not down here?" Eren asked, glancing around the room.

"Sounded like he was still in his room," Mikasa said calmly, taking a seat at the table.

"So he's awake?" Armin asked.

"I guess so," she shrugged. "I think he was rearranging all the furniture in his room."

"I didn't hear anything like that!" Eren retorted, sitting down next to her.

"It was before you woke up."

"Who the hell rearranges furniture that early in the morning?" Jean growled.

"I guess Levi does," Armin shrugged, staring suspiciously toward Mikasa. "You know how he has to have everything _perfect_."

Mikasa shrugged back, pouring herself some tea from the communal pot in the center of the table. She began to drink it, staring down toward the table. Armin continued staring at her, his eyes narrowed.

"What's this about rearranging furniture?" a voice rumbled from the doorway.

Eren and Jean both jumped, and all four stared at the door. Levi stood in the threshold, dressed in casual clothes, staring at his squad members with a calm gaze.

"N-Nothing, Captain!" Eren said defensively, waving his arms. "Mikasa just said it sounded like you were rearranging your furniture this morning."

Levi stared at him for a moment, then at Mikasa, then at Armin and Jean. He then shrugged, walking over to the pot of coffee and working to make a new brew to replace what was made earlier in the morning.

"I had to work off some stress," he said finally, as the brew began wafting the sharp smell of coffee throughout the room.

Armin raised his eyebrow, staring over at Levi curiously.

"Did something happen?" he asked.

Levi turned slightly, staring down at the blond boy with a strange gaze.

"Actually, yes," he replied. "There's some news to report."

"Is it bad?"

"In a way."

A yawn sounded from the doorway and everyone turned toward the door to see Sam walk in sleepily, wearing long-sleeved casual attire and a scarf.

"I smelled coffee," she groaned, shaking out the back of her hair with her hand.

Levi held out a cup, filled halfway with strong coffee.

"Here," he muttered.

She took the cup and smirked, staring down into the dark liquid.

"You're such a shit," she growled playfully, turning toward the door. "If anyone needs me, I'll be on the roof."

"But--" Armin stood up as she disappeared from the room. "The Captain had an announcement--"

"She already knows," Levi muttered, drinking out of his own cup of coffee.

Armin stared at him, befuddled.

"How?"

Levi paused in drinking, staring at the boy again. He then took his gaze away and drank from the cup.

"I told her before I came downstairs."

"You woke her up?"

"Sort of."

Armin smirked, leaning forward on the table.

"So, how'd she react when you did?" he asked.

"She didn't seem to mind."

Armin cocked an eyebrow, then narrowed his eyes in the same suspicious stare he gave Mikasa a few minutes before, but didn't press the issue further. Levi put down his cup, then crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned back against the table.

"Now, everyone, about that announcement..."

* * *

On the roof, Sam sipped at her coffee, staring out at the horizon touched by the morning light. A light breeze caught the dark scarf she wore, pulling it out to the side slightly. She ran her hand through her hair again, letting out a weary and relieved sigh. Her hand moved on reflex to her pendant hidden under her shirt, her eyes sliding closed.

"It's okay," she whispered to herself, opening her eyes to see the soft glow the morning gave the Special Operations grounds. "I promised I'd do it."

Her hand at the pendant found itself at her scarf, the new material soft and unfamiliar under her fingers. She leaned back against the third-story wall, leaning her head up to stare at the sky.

"And I'm keeping that promise."


End file.
